Sunlit Sky
by Cozymansam
Summary: Reagan sometimes wonders what it would be like if Dally was not her brother. In all honesty, she thinks it would be exactly the same. But if her brother were to die, what would happen then?
1. Chapter 1, A Horse Kick

**So, yeah, this is a Dally sister fic, but I'm hoping it'll be less Mary-Sue-ish and less OOC that the rest. I don't know, personally it bothers me when people portray Dally as this really heartfelt guy on the inside and all that, how he becomes all protective and stuff. I don't know. I have nothing against people who write him this way, but that's just not how I see him. So. Yeah. Enjoy. Or not. Whatever. **

Dally never did treat me special. I mean, I wasn't his enemy or anything, but to him, I guess I was just another one of the gang. He cared about me, but not more than he did Ponyboy, or Steve. We were just buddies, sort of. I didn't hang around him a lot of the time. Since he slept at Buck's most nights, and I hated it there, I stayed with the Curtis's one their couch. They didn't mind. It didn't bother me, the indifference Dally showed me. It was normal. Never had been any other way. The nicest thing Dally had ever done for me was take me with him when he left New York. I would never stop being thankful for that. But only in my head. Dally wouldn't like me being super grateful.

In fact, I was closer to Soda than anyone. When I was sick, it was him that stayed by my side. When I got busted up in a rodeo (I barrel raced, more dangerous that it sounds), he was the one who fixed me up, then told me I did a damn good job staying on as long as I had. We just dig each other. Pony, even though he's a year older is sorta like a twin brother. We're real close. Not like Soda and me, but we're good friends. He doesn't mind sharing his brother. I think they feel sorry for me. They feel bad for me because I got a brother who doesn't really care one way or another for me, and I got nothing else. Which I guess is why they don't mind me hanging out with them and living in their house and stuff. I was careful to stay outa their way though. I never asked them to go anywhere with them, they asked me. I guess I never quite believed it though, I kept expecting there to the a catch. Though I loved them all, I was never perfectly comfortable.

I was only about seven when we left New York, but I remember how rough it had been. Then was when Dally taught me stuff. He taught me how to look after myself. He gave me a blade, and showed me how to use it too. I wondered if that was why he didn't really look after me. Because I could take care of myself. It didn't bother me none. I think that's why he liked Johnny so much too. Because Johnny needed someone to look up to. He needed an example, someone who could help him stand up for himself. And though I do believe Dally was rough, I think he needed someone to look after. To teach. I'm not a believer that Dally was some great person because of Johnny. I just think he cared about him a little more that the rest of us.

"Reagan?" I heard the voice came through the walls of the bathroom. "Reagan, are you alright?" It's Soda. Of course. I clutched my stomach, trying to determine if I was gonna puke again. When I figured it was a no, I came out, still holding onto my stomach for dear life. Soda instantly noticed.

"Reagan, are you okay? You look really pale... Is your stomach okay?" He asked. I managed a nod. "Are you sick?" I shook my head. "Was it that horse of yours?" This time I nodded. I managed to gasp in a big breath of air.

"Got kicked... stomach..." I desperately tried to suck down air, but I kept coming up almost empty.

"Lemme see." He ordered. I shook my head. "Reagan, don't be stupid. With your luck and that dumb horse he mighta hit something serious."

"Wasn't his fault... I was... walking behind him." Just the same, I lifted my shirt a little bit to show the purplish bruise covering my lower stomach. Soda whistled.

"How you even got here is a miracle. I can't believe you can walk."

"Adrenaline." I managed. I hadn't really felt the kick until walking through the door, when I had a sudden urge to give up my lunch. I had just won a class when I walked behind the big black gelding I rode, Hawke, to talk to this kid I knew from school. I guess I forgot to talk to the horse or whatever because the next thing I know I'm sitting I the ground with a bruise already forming on my stomach. People kept asking if I was alright, but as I said, I didn't feel the kick until later. Then Soda found me.

"Let me see that more." I sighed, and Lifted my shirt up a little further. This would've been awkward with anyone else, but Soda didn't seem to notice. He gently touched it, and I winced. He stood up, towering over me, and I tugged my shirt down.

"I'm okay." He nodded.

"I don't think anything's seriously hurt. I'd take it easy for a little while though." I grinned at the absurdity of his diagnosis. He grinned too. He knew how hard it was for me to sit still as well as anyone.

"You heard him, take it easy." I jumped, and whirled around, before realizing that might not be a good idea. Groaning, I held onto myself. Dally smirked, from where he leaned against the doorframe. I rolled my eyes. Every once and I while he had those those brotherly moments, but, lets face it, he just liked bossing me around. I would tell him to stuff it, but he would punch me just as hard as anyone else who told him that, so I figured after a moment's consideration that I should follow my own advice and stuff it.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered. I went to flop down on the couch, before realizing that it was occupied entirely by a long lanky figure. With red sideburns. He groaned, and stuffed his face into the pillows of the couch some more. I decided to just go ahead and sit on him. I curled up on my usual spot on the end, sitting on his feet. He looked up, then went back to groaning. He probably had a hangover. I, for one, couldn't see why he would ever want to come here to sleep off a hangover- this house was a freaking madhouse sometimes, but whatever.

I guess I had fallen asleep on that couch because the next thing I knew I was being shaken gently.

"Hey kid, get up. Reagan! It's time for work!" I moaned, and sat up. The room came swimming into focus and I blinked against the bright lights. I never really went to school. I mean, I was supposed to be smart, but I just couldn't sit still long enough to go. And it wasn't like Dally cared or anything. Pony was real smart. He liked school well enough and Darry made him go anyway. Darry didn't make me do much. He used to try to get me to go to school, but after he realized I'd been skipping the entire school year, he gave up. I was related to Dally by blood after all. I did like writing poems though. Pony helped me sometimes with spelling and read them over. Johnny read them too. He didn't really go to school, but he liked to hear the sound of the words. Sometimes I think he got them more than I did. It was nice to have someone to talk to about that. Darry was to busy, and Soda was less literate that me, and Steve, Two-Bit and especially Dally would think I was off my rocker if I talked to them about poetry.

I worked at a diner called Rusty's. It was an okay place. It was greaser territory- there was no way I'd work for Socs, everyone made sure of that, especially Dally and Steve who hated them the most- but it was much less rough than say, the Dingo. I waitressed full time there.

Usually I sit in the bed of the pickup truck, I don't mind, and it's less crowded than three to the front, but today Soda took pity on me and by abused stomach and gave me shotgun. I smiled gratefully at him, and he winked.

I smiled winningly at Steve as he dropped me off, and he rolled his eyes.

"No one's gonna fall for that you know." He grumbled.

"Fall for what?" I asked, batting my eyelashes.

"The innocent look." I took this as a challenge.

"I bet you a buck that I can make fifteen dollars in tips today. We'll see who falls for what." He nodded.

"Deal." Then he zoomed away, leaving Soda in hysterics still in the bed of the truck.

I must say, I laid the charm on pretty thick. Smiling at everyone who came in, sashaying instead of walking, the works. And it paid off. Literally. Especially in men. At the end of the say I made twenty dollars and seventy cents in tips.

The look on Steve's face was priceless. He started stuttering, and his face turned red. Soda was laughing again, and I would have too, but my stomach was bothering me. Steve handed over a buck, and I pocketed it grinning widely. He let me and Soda off at Soda's house before speeding away, knocking over a trash can, swearing, and continuing.

As soon as I got in the door I sagged, and sat myself gently on the couch. Soda was instantly at my side.

"Are you alright? Is it where you got kicked?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah. I'm alright though. Just hurts. Kinda a bunch." I smiled to show it wasn't too bad. It was pretty obvious that Soda didn't buy it though. The screen door the the house banged open and Dally, Pony, Johnny, and Two-Bit came in. I rolled my eyes and scooted over on the couch. Dally sat down hard next to me, making the whole couch shake, and Johnny sat next to him, though much more gently.

"Hey kid." Dally said, directing his words in my general direction, while digging in his jacket for a cigarette. Soda turned his attention back to me.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked. I nodded. Fabulous. The one thing I wanted was for everyone to know that I was hurt.

"Horse?" Dally asked. I nodded. "That damn creature is gonna kill you someday you know." He muttered. Soda nodded.

"He's the wildest horse I ever met."

"But he's fast." I objected. "He's not too bad anymore. It was worse before." This was true, when I first started riding Hawke no one would even touch him he was so wild. He'd bite and and kick anyone who even when within a yard of him. When I managed to halter him and bring him out to a pasture people thought it was a miracle. That was when I started working him. It took months before I could ride him without falling off, and even now he has violent episodes, but he's the fastest barrel racer I've encountered as of yet. He's better than the horses that Dally jockeys with, that's for damn sure. Dally knows it too, but he doesn't care.

"Doesn't mean he's good," I heard Darry grumble. I jumped. I hadn't heard him come in.

"Well, it doesn't matter, because it's fine. I'm fine." I tried to talk with finality, but obviously that didn't work.

"I don't want you on that horse for another week." Darry instructed. I rolled my eyes. He should know by now that telling me to do stuff doesn't work. I do share Dally's genes after all.

"Please," Soda added. I nodded. It was very hard to say no to Soda. I didn't know Darry particularly well, despite living with him for years, but Soda had become my non-existent supportive bog brother. He looked out for me in a away that no one else ever had. Dally had kept me alive and little else in New York. But Soda, he did everything he could for me. If there was something wrong, he was the only person I truly felt comfortable coming to. He knew me the best to. He never tried to push me around. He had found that asking made me much less inclined to disobey just in spite.

"I guess I'll try." But really, I hated being away from Hawke. Every time I was away from him for more than a couple days he forgot what I had taught him last time.

"I don't want you to go to work tomorrow either." I sighed. Loudly.

"Fine. I'm going to the park!" I called as an after-thought. I didn't bother to ask permission.

"Don't climb a tree!" Two-Bit called after me.

"As if!" I yelled back. "Still, I could do it better than you with a broken arm!"

"You little-" I kept walking, knowing that he was to lazy to get up and actually get me. After a few minutes I noticed someone following me.

"What, don't trust me not to get in trouble?" I asked, calling over my shoulder without seeing who it was.

"No." I turned. Johnny was striding behind me, with his hands jammed into his pockets.

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't know it was you." No one in our gang ever yelled at Johnny. Not even Dally.

"That's okay." We walked in silence for a few minutes. I always appreciated that about Johnny, he could accept being quiet. In fact he seemed to like it.

"Thanks for coming." I said finally. "I guess I needed some company."

"No problem." He smiled. "What's it like? Being Dal's sister?" I shrugged.

"I don't know. It don't really make any difference. I guess he's a bit more decent, but only because he's related to me. I mean, he'd slug me just as soon as he would any one else. Sooner maybe." Johnny shrugged.

"Naw, he couldn't hit you. The boys would have a fit." I laughed.

"Like he would give a shit."

"Soda would beat him up. I bet Two-Bit and Darry would help too. They like you pretty well." I grinned.

"Well, I'm flattered... Johnny? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I pondered on how to put the words together. I knew Johnny was sensitive, and I sure didn't want to upset him, but this had been bugging me for a while.

"Why do you even bother going home? Why not live at the Curtis'? You know they'd be glad to take you." He shrugged.

"Yeah, I know. But I mean, they're my _parents._ I can't just leave. Suppose one day they'll care and I'll be gone?" I realized then just how different things were between me and Johnny. Even though his folks beat him around all the time, he honestly thought that one day they might regret it. Whereas I knew that Dally and my old man didn't give a hang whether or not we were drunk, or in jail, or dead in a sewer. I knew that nothing was going to change that, and I accepted it. I didn't consider myself pessimistic, just realistic. But Johnny held onto the tiny little thread of hope he had and refused to let go.

** So, how was that? I know I sound like every other feedback hungry person on fanfiction, but I'm dying to know what you guys think. By the way, I do have a plan for the rest of the story (for those of you who know me, you heard right, I have a _plan_), but I'm not going to share it at this moment in time. Please let me know what you thought, any comments, suggestions. Anything would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much, **

**~Cozy**


	2. Chapter 2, Splashdown

**I'm back! I know I usually take forever to update, so on this story I'm going to write one chapter in advance every time, hopefully keeping it moving along. I'm not entirely sure how this chapter will turn out. I know I said I had a plan, but it's still a little vague at the moment. Oh, and I realize that I made a couple of mistakes last chapter, Reagan is actually the same age as Pony. And to clarify, Pony and her are 14, Darry is 20, Soda, Steve, and Dally are 17, and Johnny are 16. Two-Bit is 18. Sorry about that. There may have been something that ends up being controversial, so just let me know. Thanks so much. Happy reading. **

By 11:00am I was frantic. Darry had made my lie dow on the couch saying that if I ever wanted to heal I was to stay there _all day._ He'd even gone so far as hiring Two-Bit to babysit me. I was never any good at sitting still, a trait both me and Soda shared, so lying here was torture. Two-Bit, of course thought it was hilarious, sitting there in Darry's chair watching Mickey Mouse and eating cake and beer. Every time I made to get up he snapped to sit back down, and imitating Darry said that I would never heal. Then he would fall into uproarious laughter. I rolled my eyes and glared at Mickey dancing around on the screen. Man, if only looks could kill. Then I would be free to leave this place. I mean, I appreciated Darry for caring, but I _hated_ being still. _Hated_ it.

"I'm going to the DX." I announced. I couldn't take it any longer. I just have to move. I swear, I was about to start screaming. Two-Bit lurched from his seat somewhat unsteadily.

"Oh no you don't!" He said in a sing-song voice. I rolled my eyes. Again.

"I'll start screaming. Loudly. How will that help your hangover?" I asked, smiling sweetly. Two-Bit put his hands over his ears.

"Oh, you are a very mean little girl." He moaned. I grinned, nodding enthusiastically.

"Oh, believe me, I know. You can come if you still want to babysit though." Two-Bit nodded.

"Sure, I'll come."

"Okay."

It was sort of a long walk to the gas station, Soda went in the car with Steve, and Darry went in his car. I knew that Two-Bit had a car, but he was too cheap to buy gas. His mom hadn't been home in a few days so he hadn't gotten a chance to mooch off of her. I didn't really care though, it was nice to get a walk. I hadn't been on the couch for very long, but it felt like forever to me. I know Two-Bit would readily have stayed there all day, but I wasn't lazy like him.

"You think Soda'll be happy if he sees you out of bed?" Two-Bit asked as we walked along.

"You think I care?" He probably wouldn't be thrilled, but I doubt he'd be surprised.

"Why do I even bother?" He wondered. "I mean, seriously, at the rate you're going you're going to be killed before next month anyway. I should get as far away from Superman as fast as I can."

"Wait a minute! What do you mean at the rate I'm going?" He shrugged.

"You get kicked by a horse, get ordered to stay in bed, ignore that..." He let his voice trail off, trying to sound smarter. I almost laughed.

"You know how I'm gonna get killed Two-Bit? I'm gonna get killed from hanging out with greasers like you." He only laughed. It wasn't the best insult, I admit to that. But it was the best I had. Greasers don't mind being called greaser when another greaser says that.

"You better watch it kid." He warned. "Or I'm gonna get your tough hood of a brother to give you a time-out." I laughed, just picturing this. It was weird though. The gang rarely talked about me and Dal. Like the two of us, they usually preferred to pretend that we weren't related. That we had just randomly showed up form the same place at the same time. Back in New York. Dally had somewhat looked after me, leaving me in a safe place, bringing me food while he went and did whatever he did. He didn't know what really went on though. He didn't know that his gang that he hung out with there found me and tried to jump me. He didn't know that I had used to knife he'd left with me to cut up one, and scare the others away. They were embarrassed enough that they were beaten by a girl to tell Dally. I wandered what his reaction would be if he found out that it was me.

... Reagan? Reagan!" I looked up.

"What?" I asked. I was kinda out of it. I wondered how long I had been caught in my flashback.

"We're at the DX idiot. I've been trying to talk to you for like five minutes. I was starting to get a little worried."

"Aw, Two-Bit, you _do_ care!" I said in a sickeningly sweet voice. He rolled his eyes.

"You're lucky you're hurt." He warned.

"Sure, sure." I walked into the little store, and a bell on the door chimed gently. Soda didn't look up from whatever you were doing.

"Be with you in a minute." He promised, in what I called, his 'manners voice'.

"Thanks so much." I said in a falsetto voice. Two-Bit Grabbed his mouth, trying so hard to hold in a laugh that his face was turning red.

"How can I help you sweetheart?" Soda asked. That was all it took to turn Two-Bit and me into hysterical fits of laughter. I was laughing so hard that I was rolling on the floor trying in vain to breath. Soda looked up, and jumped.

"You should... see... your face..." I said in between gales of laughter.

"Oh very funny." Soda rolled his eyes and pretended to be unamused.

"It... is..." However, I had always been told that my laugh was contagious, and soon he too was holding his sides. A few high school girls walked in then, and looked down at us.

" Ex_cuse_ me, but is someone working here?" One of them whined. Soda took a deep breath.

"What can I do for you?"

"My car broke down about a mile away. We had to walk _all_ the way here." She moaned. She was a greaser. this much was for sure. All three of them were in fact. All of them were wearing tank tops that showed more than they didn't, and they were wearing short skirts as well.

"And..." Soda asked. I looked at him in surprise. Usually he would never be this short with a costumer.

"Well, I need you to take gas to it!" She said, expertly flipping her hair. Soda looked at me and winked.

"Well, I can't right now, but I know someone who'd love to help you out. Hold on just a sec. Actually, Reagan, would you get him?" I grinned, barely containing a laugh. Two-Bit was looking back from Soda to me, to Soda, obviously confused.

I went to the back, where the cars were worked on and saw him.

"STEVE!" I yelled, over the clamor of the tools and the loud music.

"WHAT?" He called back.

"COME HERE!" I screamed. I think I saw him sigh, then he picked his way through the never ending tools and parts until he came to me.

"What?" He asked again. Trying my hardest not to smile, I answered.

"Soda's got a job for you." He shrugged.

"Whatever." I snickered, as I heard him talking to Soda. Soda had been smart making Steve accept the job in front of those girls.

"Fine." I heard him mumble. I came back in and laughed.

"Nice one Soda." He smiled.

"Yeah, I know. Besides, it's quitin' time. I didn't want to be stuck with them. Weren't you told to be in bed?" I stopped smiling.

"Soda," I whined. "You know I can't do that!" He grinned.

"Oh, I know. I'm amazed you lasted that long."

"Yeah. I should really get a raise." Two-Bit came over.

"Maybe." Soda said. I nodded enthusiastically.

"You can get twice your normal rate!" Two-Bit grinned.

"Great!" I laughed, waiting for Two-Bit to catch on. Soda was grinning widely, and he stuck his thumb up.

"Two-Bit?"

"Yeah?"

"What's zero times two?"

"Uh, zero... Wait! I wanna real raise!" I grabbed my side, bursting into another fit of laughter. Soda took one look at Two-Bit's face and fell to the ground. Two-Bit flipped my off and walked away.

"I'm gonna get drunk, see yawl." He poked his head back in a moment later. "I quit babysitting." I didn't answer. I hadn't been able to stop laughing yet. Finally me and Soda calmed down.

"Well, what are supposed to do now?" I asked Soda. He shrugged.

"Well, like I said, I'm off. Wanna just go back to the house?"

"If you have something to do you can do it..."

"Nah. C'mon." I followed him out the door, almost running to keep up with his long legs. Of course he noticed this, and slowed.

"Sorry Shorty. I'd take Steve's car, but I don't wanna wait for him."

"I don't mind. And I'm not that short!"

"Whatever."

"I'm three years younger than you!" I protested.

"Three feet shorter too." How he managed to keep a straight face was beyond me. I jumped at him, trying to pull him down. Of course, I was wildly off balance, and with my stomach hurting, I wasn't in best fighting form. Besides. It's hard to jump someone who's a lot bigger that you. Anyway, he just grabbed he and began carrying me. I looked up at his face and mentally shrugged. It was a lot less work like this. I shut me eyes and snuggled into his chest.

Next thing I know, I was hurled into iciness. I shrieked loudly and sat up, coughing.

"What the hell!" I screeched, looking around and seeing where I was- right in the lake, whick was aboslutely freezing. And there Soda was laughing his ass off.

"You asshole!" I grabbed his arm, and while he was incapacitated by laughter dragged him into the water too. He tried to get up, but I kicked his leg out form underneath him and shoved his back. He plummeted forward. When he came back up I was sitting cross-legged in the shallow water smiling triumphantly.

"You little-" He began I splashed water in his face and he broke off spluttering. Someone was blocking out my sunshine, and I looked up, and saw the silhouettes of four guys standing there. I squinted. I knew these guys well.

"Fancy meeting you here." I said.

"What the hell are you doing?" Steve asked.

"Bathing." I answered. "Have a nice walk?" He lunged at me, but tripped over Pony and fell face in. I stared at Pony in shock.

"Did you do that on-" Someone grabbed my neck and pulled me under. I kicked and thrashed, eventually hitting something solid. They released their hold on me and I popped back up. The sight that was before me was so comical, that tears were running down my face. Each of them rock hard greasers was engaged in water battle. I looked around for Soda where he was fighting with Steve. Motioning to Steve to keep quiet, I stalked up behind him and pounced. Soda's cry of alarm was cut short by the water flowing over his face. I had to let him go when someone picked me up and carried me away. I tried to turn to see who it was, but the hold on me was to strong.

"Ok, I have here a little greasy blond girl." People may take turns splashing, or dunking her!" I Turned finally, and there was my brother holding my arms smirking at me.

"You s-" I was cut off when I was thrust under water.

"Watch your mouth." He growled. I rolled my eyes. Again I was thrown under water.

"Quit it!" Dally grinned.

"Any takers?" Soda raised his hand.

"I need her. We have a little something to settle." Dally literally threw me to him, and Soda caught me. I gave him my best puppy dog eyes.

"Soda..." I whimpered. He brought me close.

"Aw, honey..." I relaxed, before I saw a malicious smile sweep across his face. I screamed as I was shoved under the water again. I grabbed Soda's leg, and tried to bring him down too, but it's hard to get enough force under water. I was pulled back up and Soda waggled a finger at me.

"Now, that was not ladylike at all." He chided.

"Giver her here." Dally commanded. Soda handed me over and Dally grabbed me.

"Lemme go!" I yelled. "Now!" Dallas rolled his eyes.

"Whatever kid. As soon as you can get yourself out, you can leave." I groaned.

"Guys? Help?" I looked up. I already knew that Soda and Steve wouldn't help, but I hoped Johnny and Pony would. They looked at each other before coming forward. Together they managed to pry Dally's arms off of me. He stomped away. I got out of the water, shivering. The sun had gone down, and the air was turning crisp.

"Thanks guys," I bumped into someone and looked up. "Sorry." I stepped back several feet when I realized it was a Soc girl.

"That hood didn't hurt you none did he?" She asked. I remember her hair. It was red.

"Nah. He's me brother." I turned and walked away without looking back. It was always sort of awkward telling people that my brother was the famous Dallas Winston. He just didn't seem the type to have a little sister.

Soda noticed my shivering and handed me his jacket, which had survived the water fight. I pulled it around my shoulders. When we came to the crossroads between our houses, we looked at Johnny expectantly. He sometimes stayed at our house, or at the lot when it was warm, but that would be a bad idea if he was wet.

"I think I'm heading home. My parents are gone for the weekend."

"Alright. See ya." Soda called. Pony and I waved. Soda put an arm around each of us.

"Let's got home." I agreed with that full heartedly. The last thing I needed was a cold.

**So, I know this chapter was a little shorter than the first one, but it seemed like a good stopping point. Please, tell me what you think. And just to let you know, while I have been trying, I have been told a lot that I am OOC. And I also know I make a lot of typos. I'm trying, and I'm sorry, but for now that's the way it is. **

**~Cozy**


	3. Chapter 3, Dreams and History Lessons

**Ok, here's the next chapter. I really don't have anything else knew to say, so, here it is.**

I woke up screaming and thrashing on the floor next to the couch. My heart pounded, and I could not shake off the scared feeling. Soda and Pony came running in and rushed to my side.

"Reagan, are you okay?" Soda asked. I took a deep breath and shook my head. He extended his arms and I fell into them. He stroked my hair, and murmured softly. Pony patted my back.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Pony asked.

"No." I said, muffled by Soda's chest.

"Ok. If you ever wanna talk we're here though." He said. I nodded. I loved how easily they took that I didn't want to talk. They didn't press me for answers at all. I felt a tear slip down my cheek and pulled away from Soda a little to wipe it off angrily. Never crying wasn't a talent Dally had been able to teach me. I could hide my emotions better than most, but I still broke sometimes. This had been one of the worst nightmares I'd had in a while. It was the same reoccurring dream, but this time in much more detail. This time I relived the moment as opposed to just watching it. I eventually calmed down, but they stayed with me until I fell asleep. I would never stop being grateful for them for all that they did for me. And even though I didn't know Dally very well, I knew what he had sacrificed to keep Soda and Pony out of a boys' home and how hard he worked. And he had still made room for one more. He even wanted me to sleep in his parents' old room, but I refused. The room had become sort of a shrine.

I had been walking by once, and saw Pony sitting on the bed, holding a picture frame crying silently. I had walked quickly on by, but I knew then that I could never disturb this room. The face Pony made when I refused to sleep there was reason enough to believe that I had done the right thing.

"Reagan had a nightmare last night." I froze, and listened.

"Really." Dally replied, unimpressed.

"Pony heard her scream out something about her mom." I peeked through the door and saw the muscles in his jaw jump. My mother had been the one person on earth Dally loved. It wasn't until after she died that he became the rock hard cold-hearted person he is now.

"It wasn't pretty." He admits. I held my breath. That was one way of putting it. There was a pause. Then,

"What happened?" I have to say this took me by surprise. I never thought that Soda would just comer right out and ask it, but Dally's face looked exactly the same as it had.

"Reagan was five." Dally began. "I was..." He did the math in his head, "Nine. Mom had this new boyfriend, and at first he seemed real nice and everything. Even bought us shit." He laughed ruefully. "I guess we all fell for it. But he was far from a nice guy. My God." He paused for a moment. I thought I had heard his voice break, but I must have imagined it. "Any way, one day we were all in the kitchen, waiting for dinner and when Mom came she spilled just a little bit on the table cloth, and well, I guess he must have been drinking. he blew up. I had never seen anyone so mad before.

"He grabbed a rolling pin and started hitting her. It was pretty awful actually. Grabbed a knife too. I remember Mom yelling at us to leave, but I couldn't. Don't know why. Just couldn't. He stabbed her. Right through the heart. Just left her there bleeding all over the floor. Then he started in on me and Reagan. I had my switch and I killed him. Just like he killed Mom. But not before Reagan got knocked out. Ever wonder where she got that scar of hers on the face?" I fingered the ridge over my left cheekbone as he spoke. "Took almost a month to get better. Never told her what happened to that guy, but I guess she knows now." I considered running away, but he knew I was here anyway.

"What?" Soda asked.

"Reagan, come here." I trudged into the kitchen.

"You killed him." It wasn't a question, but he answered anyway.

"Yeah." I wondered how he could remain so calm, but then, I wasn't freaking out either. I guess deep down I always knew it. When he told me he'd left I never spoke out against it, but something just didn't ring true about that. Well, now I know.

"Reagan..." Soda whispered. "I'm so sorry." I shrugged, trying really hard not to lose it.

"The past it the past." I think I saw Dally look proud. He was the one to teach me to swallow emotion.

I walked away, got to the door and just kept on walking. I had no idea where I was going. All I knew was that I had to leave for a while. I'm not sure why hearing the story affected me so much. I dreamed about it almost nightly after all. But the truth was it _did_ affect me. Maybe it was because Dally seemed so cold telling the story. I know he had loved our mother, but it seemed now that he was doing everything he could to convince everyone else, as well as himself otherwise.

I picked up speed, beginning to sprint. I blocked out the rest of my mind, and concentrated only on going as fast as my legs could take me. I could run as fast as Pony, and he was on the school track team, so it was pretty fast. I just kept pumping my legs harder, and faster, until my legs and chest were screaming. Finally I couldn't run anymore and sank down, wheezing, trying to get my breath. I can't remember a time when I had run as fast as this, it felt like someone was sticking a knife in my chest. For a few minutes I could only concentrate on breathing before I could look up and get my bearings. And what I saw was not good. Big fancy houses, Mustangs, nice lawns. I had run far alright. Right into the West Side. Immediately I was on the alert. I stood up, and doubled over. My lungs had not yet recovered from my run here. I could only pray that no Socs would arrive.

Of course, they did anyway. And I stood up against them, fought through the pain and won. But naturally that is not what happened. What happened was I turned and ran like Hell, putting a hand to my chest, trying to breathe. But I was spend. The madras clad Socs caught up to me and I was partially surrounded. I just kept backing up, away from those boys, away from those madras. I was lucky they hadn't brought a car. Maybe I had gotten into greaser territory... but even as I thought this, I ridiculed myself for the absurdity of such thoughts. I felt my back pocket, where my black switch lay, as it always did. I had always been to taught to be prepared.

"You're outa your territory grease." One mumbled. He drank something from a silver flask. Oh no. I backed up even quicker, ignoring how futile this was. I'd had enough drunks. I'd seen first hand just what they could do, and had the scar to prove it. It was as though the Soc picked up on my thoughts.

"Nice looking scar ya got there. How'd a pretty little girl like you come by it. Doesn't matter. Come with me and we can have a real nice time. I spat on his shoes. Right then it didn't matter that their were six of them and one of me. It didn't matter that they were all at least a foot taller than me. I was angry. Really angry. And though I don't think that anger is the best motivation, it sure does help out sometimes. I lunged, knowing this had to happen sometime; might as well be me who starts it. The one I knocked over was surprised, but quickly recovered, fighting back with a strength I didn't have even a hope of matching. I was pinned down, and one was hitting my in the face, stomach, side. I hurt like Hell.

I heard shouts and looked up. I think I about died right there of relief when I saw the gang- all of them running over. Even Darry was there and he looked madder than Hell. I felt someone picking me up, and in a moment of dizziness, couldn't tell who's side they were on. I decided it was a Soc though, when I felt a cold hard metal at my throat.

"Stop! Or the broad dies." I watched with a sinking heart as slowly the gang stopped. Dally looked at me with fury blazing in his eyes. I cringed, I knew that this was mostly my fault. Then he nodded at me, ever to slightly. I almost smiled, and readied myself. It was a move he'd taught my back in New York. Just in case. He always said.

"Leave the broad alone." He growled. Distracting them. The Soc holding me studied me.

"Ah, I see the resemblance. Who woulda thought the famous Dallas Winston had a little broad sister?" Dally did that little nod again. I lashed out, ignoring the knife at my throat and kicked the Soc in the knee hard, then darted behind the gang and he kneeled, swearing at me profusely.

"You're outnumbered pal." Dally said. "And we were just leaving." I felt blood trickle down my neck from where the knife cut me.

"You okay?" Soda asked, throwing an arm around me.

"What were you thinking?" Steve asked. "Running off like that. Into _Soc_ territory." I shrugged.

"Wasn't paying attention." Dally cut in.

"Jesus kid, you not paying attention could the the death of you." I looked at the ground. It was annoying, but he was right. I couldn't believe I had done that.

"Gotta watch yourself." Darry put in. "You gotta think." I looked over at Pony where he was stifling a grin. It sounded just like Darry was talking to Pony, not me.

"Thanks guys." I groaned.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Soda asked. "I mean, your kick had about healed up, but did they hurt you?" I shrugged. Back idea.

"Not to bad. Gonna be sore for a while though." I felt my ribcage. "I don't think I have any broken ribs." I rubbed my face where I'd been hit a lot.

"Gonna get a nice black eye." Steve commented.

"You looked pretty tough kid." Two-Bit said. I smiled.

"Thanks." I couldn't stop being relieved for my good fortune. the chanced of the gang finding and saving me on time were so minimal it made me shiver. Soda hugged my tighter.

"You cold?"

"A little." I was only lying a bit. True, I _was_ cold, but that wasn't the reason for my shiver.

"You know, I think Dally was actually worried when he saw that Soc holding you." Soda said in an undertone. I waved that off.

"Nah, he was just playing along."

"If you say so..."

When we got back to the house, we did injury inventory. It wasn't too bad. Steve had a shallow cut on his hand, and Dally would get a black eye like me, but the rest of them had escaped without injury. I was asked at least five more times if I was okay, and I was really. I felt great. True, I was sore, but I just couldn't stop being grateful that they had found me, and come on time.

"How did you guys find me?" I asked Soda. He shrugged.

"Johnny was coming out when you were coming in. Guess you didn't see him?" I shook my head, I hadn't. "Well, he said it looked like you were heading to the West side, but none of us thought you'd get all the way there. When you didn't get back we all thought we should look. You should have heard Dally. he was swearing enough to make Tim Shepard look like a child. He was furious." I sighed.

"I know." Dally looked over, hearing our conversation.

"Damn right I was mad. You need to watch it kid. You can't just lose it like that."

"Screw you." I muttered. Of course he had to hear this.

"Watch your mouth kid. Don't talk back to me." He snapped. I stared at the floor, physically hurting from want to roll my eyes. He smirked.

"Well, I'm heading back to Buck's. Let me know if I need to play hero any more." He ruffled my hair.

"See ya kid."

"Bye." He opened to door, and a gust of wind swept in." Being Dally, he left the door wide open, and Pony, who was nearest to him shut it gently. Soon, the rest of the boys cleared out too, leaving only Johnny, Pony, and Soda here. (Darry had gone to bed.)

"You spendin' the night Johnny?" I asked, yawning.

Yeah, if that's alright." He looked around at Soda and Pony. He knew he was always more than welcome, but he always felt like he had to ask anyway.

"'Course you can stay. Come on Pony let's go to bed." When they left I turened to Johnny.

"Chair or couch?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Whatever you don't take." Even though we both preferred the couch, I gave it to him. He smiled at me. I made sure the chair was as reclined as it went, and tried in vain to get comfortable. It didn't really make much difference. I was tired enough to sleep on a hay bale.

"Night Johnny." I snuggled into the couch's pillows. People always told me a slept weird. I liked to bury my face in pillows when I slept. I'm not quite sure how I breathed, but I got it done. I slept. Nothing else really mattered. And God did I sleep that night. For once my dreams weren't nightmares. I think I dreamed of Hawke. I dreamed of us barrel racing, and winning. Somehow Dally came in with one of his racing hoses. I think he challenged me to race him, but I kept saying that I needed to practice. It was odd. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a normal dream. It had to have been when I was too young to remember. Before Mom died. Before my brother committed murder at age nine. This time I was awoken by a scream. Pony. It had to be. I raced into their room and saw Soda there, trying to comfort Pony.

I rushed to his side and shook him.

"Pony, wake up." He fought against me, and I held tighter, shaking him harder." He woke up with a jolt, and looked at us.

"I'm sorry, I-I." I put my hand over his mouth.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I reached out, and he hugged me, his body wracking with silent sobs. "It's okay Pony. It's okay." Amazingly, Johnny and Darry were still asleep. As they had for me, I stayed up with Pony and Soda until Pony was asleep again, huddling next to him. Then I tiptoed out to the chair. It was already four in the morning though, and the chances of me getting back to sleep were slim to none. I went out onto the step and sat there, smoking, watching the sunrise when it came. And my six-o'clock, there was a sunlit sky.

**So, there's that chapter. How'd ya'll like it? Please let me know. All of you writers know how much a little feedback is appreciated. I do actually have a plan for this. After this chapter things are going to be slightly more similar to the book, and things are going to begin going downhill. Comments? Suggestion? Please, and thank you so much for reading. **

**~Cozy**


	4. Chapter 4, Downhill

**I'm guessing you know by now that I'm back. But I'm out of original things to say. Just read. And I am sorry that this one took a little longer to update. I thought I already had. Oops. **

Johnny and Pony were going to a movie with Dally, Two-Bit was presumably getting drunk somewhere, Darry was working, and Soda and Steve took Evie and Sandy... somewhere. I was by myself. And liking it. I was stretching out on the couch watching T.V. (no Mickey Mouse at last!) When I heard the screen door slam open. I jumped, but relaxed slightly when I saw who it was.

"Hey Tim." I said. He nodded.

"Hey Kid." I guess that was my official name by now. "Where's your brother?" I shrugged.

"Knowing him he could be anywhere. He ain't here." Tim believed me. That much I could tell.

"Well, if you see him let him know I'm looking for him. Slashed my car tires the dirty son of -" I cut him off. And herded him to the door.

"Sure Tim, I'll pass along the message. Goodbye now!" Looking confused my his abrupt dismissal, he walked away where Curly was in a car waiting for him. I waved at Curly, but he ignored me. We used to be real good friends, but he had never gotta over that I had chosen to go to this gang instead of his. I don't think he ever really forgave me for that. But it was a choice I'd make a million more times if I had to.

I musta drifted off at some point because the next think I know, Darry is roughly waking me up.

"Wha'?" I groaned, still not really awake.

"Reagan!" Where's Ponyboy?" Someone, I think it was Darry asked.

"Going to a movie." I grumbled. I was shaken some more. It was incredibly annoying. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"What!"

"It's 1:55 in the morning!" Darry snapped.

"I don't know, he probably fell asleep in the lot."

"He better not have. I'm about ready to call the police. And you know what'll happen if I do that."

"Darry." Soda spoke quietly, but his words resonated. "It ain't her fault. And it ain't your call to bring that up." Darry opened his mouth up to reply, but then Pony came in the door and Darry had someone else to focus his anger on.

"Where have you been!" He thundered. Pony quailed.

"I- I fell asleep in the lot."

"It's 2:00 in the morning! A little more time and I woulda called the cops!"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking..."

"No and that's the problem, you don't think! Not at school, not here!"

"Darry," Soda started.

"You know what! I'm tired of you sticking up for him!"

"Don't yell at him!" Pony screamed. Before I could track it, Darry's hand whipped out and slapped Pony clear across the face. He back away and started running. I tore after him.

"Pony! I didn't mean to!" Darry yelled after us. But I was already gone, tearing after Pony. Thank God I was fast, because otherwise I never would have caught up to him.

"Pony!" I called. "PONY!" Slowly, he turned.

"What do you want?" He snapped, in a voice that did not seem to be his own. I was a little taken aback.

"Nothing, I just wanted to know if you were alright."

"Well I'm not. Dammit I'm not!" I approached him slowly, treating him like a horse.

"Let's go to the park. Cool you off some." He nodded.

"Okay." And that was when things going downhill. (**A/N So, if I was really annoying, I would cut the chapter off here, but I'm not going to do that to you guys.)**

We had just reached the park when a blue Corvair came rolling up.

"What are they doing out of their territory?" I wondered.

"It was us, we picked up their girls." Pony whispered. I looked at him, having no idea what he was talking about.

"At the movies." Another time I would have pressed for details, but right now all I could think about were those Socs coming out of the car. A lot of them. We were totally and hopelessly outnumbered. They were drunk. I could tell that from their swaggering walk. I looked, hoping an vain that their was someone else, any greaser. Tim's gang, the Brumley boys, anyone. But of course, things never work that way.

"Hey there." One slurred, creeping towards me, "What have we here." I looked frantically at Pony. He spat.

"White trash!" He snapped. This caught the Soc's attention.

"David, give the kid a bath." The Soc, David I guess, grabbed Pony and pushed his head under the water fountain at the center of the park. They let him up for a second, then pushed him under and didn't let him up.

"That your boyfriend?" The first Soc asked. I shook my head mutely. He came closer and grabbed my arm. "Talk honey." When my mouth remained shut, he whipped his hand across my face.

"Fine. If that's how you want it." I felt in my back pocket. Yes, my blade was there. When he came at me again, I lunged, getting the boy in the chest. He dropped like a rock and the ground beneath him began to run red.

"Jesus." A Soc whispered. They ran, dropping Pony in the fountain. I had enough energy to pull him out before slouching down again. I didn't want to look at the Soc's body, eagled, with the red pool spreading, but I couldn't look away either. Pony sat up slowly, coughing up water. When he saw the Soc he visibly paled.

"I killed him." I whispered. "They were going to kill you, and beat me up. I _killed_ him."

"I think I'm gonna be sick." He muttered.

"Go ahead." I turned my head away, and heard him be sick. He came back, and I could almost see his panic level racketing up.

"What are we gonna do!" He grabbed my arm. "They put people in the electric chair for murder.

"Calm down." Don't get me wrong, I was _terrified_ but panicking would just get us into more trouble.

"Dally." I said confidently.

"Dally?" Pony echoed.

"He'll get us outa here." Pony looked doubtful.

"Okay..." I tore my eyes away from the dead Soc, and started running, trusting Pony to keep up. For both of us the going was pretty slow, but neither of us were in good running shape. I was shaking from shock, and I could hear Pony's teeth chattering. It was pretty cold out, and the dunk in the water fountain couldn't have helped. I pulled my jeans jacket tighter around me, and ignored the cold wind going down it. Finally we reached our destination, Buck's. I knocked furiously on the door. When Buck answered it, leaning up against the door, I knew how to act.

"Get us Dally." I said demandingly. Buck always gave into orders. Maybe that was why Dally could handle him so easily even though he was five years younger.

"Yeah, whatever." He grumbled. He left us on the porch and went back inside. From the deafening music radiating through the house, I tried to listen for Dally's voice, but I didn't hear anything until he opened to door, scaring me half to death.

"What do you need kids?" He asked. I opened my mouth to explain, but could not find the words. Pony stepped up.

"Reagan killed a Soc." I could tell this took him by surprise.

"My kid sister killed a Soc." He stated it, maybe just to hear it aloud one more time.

"Yeah." Pony agreed, although he had to have known it was not a question.

"Man. And I though New York was the only place I could get caught up in a murder rap." I flinched at the word murder, and Dally softened his voice a little. "Still, nice going kid." I smiled humorlessly. "Come in." Dallas rubbed his ribs.

"I was just trying to sleep. Had a run-in with Tim and cracked a couple a ribs. He won't be able to see outa one eye for a week though." I followed him, fighting the urge to just fall over and let the cops get me. I couldn't though. I didn't want to go to jail. Dally had told me hair-raising stories about it.

"Pony, are you wet?" Pony nodded. "Glory, you'll die of pneumonia 'fore the cops ever get to you." He threw a shirt at Pony. When he tried it on, it was about sixty million sizes too big. I figured it musta been Buck's. "Boy, I ain't itching to be the one to tell Darry and Soda you two are missing." Dally scratched his head. He had a point. They would be furious.

"So don't. Pony said simply. Dallas ignored that comment. He handed me a roll of bills.

"Fifty bucks. All I could get outa Merril tonight. Listen, this is what you gotta do, hop the train to Windrixville and go to the top of Jay Mountain. There's an old abandoned church there where you can hide out. Round back there's a pump, so you'll be fine for water, but first thing get a week's supply of food. I'll see you as soon as it's safe." He looked at me. I'd given Pony my jeans jacket to stop his shivering and only had on a t-shirt. He handed me his old worn leather sheepskin jacket.

"Don't ruin it kid." And that was the last thing he said to me before we were shoved out the door. The rest comes only in a blur. I vaguely remember getting on that train, and I think Pony asked a farmer for directions to Jay Mountain. I remember the moment we arrived though, seeing that dilapidated building. I curled up on a pew, and cried for what seemed like just about forever and a half. Pony stayed there the whole time with me, trying to comfort me. Eventually I stopped crying, and the next thing I remember is waking up to the sunlight streaming in through the numerous holes in the roof. I rubbed my eyes.

"Pony!" No answer. "Ponyboy!" I walked forward, and tripped over a piece of wood. I was about to chuck it when I saw the spindly writing.

_Going to get supplies. Be back soon. P.C. _

I breathed a sigh of relief. He was okay. Everything was okay. I would be okay. But the face of that Soc kept flickering through my head again and again. He couldn't have been more than seventeen or eighteen. And I killed him. Me. I killed a Soc. Someone should have been there with us. Darry shouldn't have hit Pony, but Pony shouldn't have stayed late, but he didn't mean too.. But I knew exactly what I was doing when I stabbed that boy. I killed him. I had never been much for going to church. I went to appease Johnny and Pony, but I never held much on store for God. But now, I knew for sure that if there even was such a place I was going straight to Hell. I shoulda... I shoulda... But however hard I looked at it, I could not find a way around what I did. I could not come up with some better solution. And it was making my head hurt just thinking about it all.

I heard footsteps, and jumped out of my reverie. I whistled, and it was returned. My heart began to beat again, and I found myself able to breath.

"Hey Pony. Watcha got?"

"A week's supply boloney, bread, peroxide, scissors, cards, smokes, chocolate..." he went on. I grabbed a chocolate bar and began nibbling on the end.

"Wait, scissors, peroxide! No." He looked exasperated.

"We're both gonna cut our hair and I'm gonna bleach mine. They'll have our descriptions in the paper and we can't fit them.

"No." I repeated. "You can cut yours. You or _not _ touching mine." My hair was my one vanity. It was blonde, like Dally's, and down to my waist. Pony sighed. I knew he could tell he was getting, and would get no where on this.

"Fine. Whatever." He handed me a won baseball cap.

"At least wear this?" I nodded. This I could do. I tucked my hair under the cap and shoved it onto my head.

"Here." I noticed how his hand was trembling when he handed me those scissors. I resolved to be gentle. I snipped it, cutting it short. It looked all wrong, lying in tufts on the floor. I mean, Pony and tuff hair. His and Soda's were the tuffest around. But I'm no hair stylist. It took a while to bleach it, I had no idea how to do it, so it was pretty much trial and error. But in the end his hair was pale blonde, paler, even than mine. He didn't look to good with it. He ran his hand through it and sighed.

"Man, feels weird."

"I bet."

"How's it look?" I sighed, and brought him a shard of mirror I had found lying about.

"Jeez. Don't I look tuff." He said sarcastically. I wasn't going to say so and make him feel even worse, but he looked pretty awful. I didn't see how disguising him would make it less obvious it was him. I mean, now he looked like someone who had hacked off and bleached his hair. It looked suspicious. But whatever. If it made him feel better...

"How long do you think it'll be until Dally shows up?" Pony asked. I shrugged.

"I have no idea. Presuming he doesn't forget about us it should be a few days." I stretched out in the grass. "Man. It's real dangerous here. I might die of boredom." Pony looked thoughtful.

"I used to come out here with the family. Before Mom and Dad." He swallowed hard. "Before they died. Back then we all got along real well, even Darry and me. We would shoot ducks." I nodded.

"Yeah. I heard you were the best shot."

"Yeah. Darry got the most though. Soda and me fooled off to much, scare 'em away. I didn't really like to shoot them either. Not sure why. Just didn't," He smiled, "I've never told anyone that before."

"Think once this is over you'll ever come back here?" He shook his head.

"I wouldn't want to. It'd be too different without Mom and Dad. I'm not sure any of us would be able to cope. I'd rather just remember it the way it used to be."

"I wish I coulda done stuff like that with me folks." I said softly.

"Soda told me what happened to your mom. I'm sorry." As I usually did when she was brought up, I fingered the scar on my cheek.

"Yeah. First and last time I ever saw Dallas cry."

"What was she like before?" He asked. I had never talked about my parents before. Never seemed to matter before. I was here now. But with Pony now, it actually made me feel better. As though I could face up to the facts. It was nice.

"She was amazing. Kept Dally out of jail. Did everything she could for us. I don't remember much about my dad. He ran out on us when I was like two. But I think Mom was trying to keep us from becoming him." I gave a shallow laugh. "Some good that did."

"Oh I don't know." Pony argued. "You're fine, and Dal's an okay guy." I laughed, but there was nothing funny about this.

"You hate Dallas and I killed a kid." My voice rose into hysteria. I broke down.

"I killed that kid! Just like the guy killed my mother! And Dally killed him! Who's next Pony? Who's next? Who else has to die before this is over?" Pony rubbed my back .

"Sh, It's alright. No one else is going to die. It'll be alright." He whispered it over and over, trying to convince himself as well as me. I fell asleep, tired after crying, to those words. And maybe I was a little bit more convinced about that afterwards.

**But, of course, we know that's not how things end up. I'm not one for making up happy stories. Well, this was a little longer. I felt like I could have kept going, but it seemed like a good stopping place. So anyway, tell me what you think. As usual, sorry for the typos that I'm sure will be in there. Thank you very much to those who have reviewed, all the comment were great! And really, I'm open to lots and lots of reviews! =) Thanks for your time. **

**~Cozy**


	5. Chapter 5, Can they Stay Gold?

**I am so sorry this took so long to update. I was waiting for a friend to review, but I kind of just gave up on her. Besides, I figured you guys deserved an update. Thanks to all my lovely reviewers, and "anonymous", really, it was great to hear, however much you felt like a idiot writing it. I don't care. It was nice. And I'm sorry the chapter was so short, the next one should be up shortly.  
**

I woke up in the grass, slightly damp from the dew. Pony was up already, looking up. I went over to him, and stared at the sky. It was magnificent. If you've never been able to see a sunset, washing everything in an orange glow, if you've never see the tips of the trees turn gold, than I cannot explain what it was like. But to those who are lucky enough to have been able to witness this, than you should know how truly lucky you are.

"I wish it could be like that forever." I breathed, after the sky turned back to azure.

"Nothing gold can stay." It was as though Pony was talking to himself.

"What?"

"_Nature's first green is gold, _

_ Her hardest hue to hold,_

_ Her early leaf's a flower, _

_ But only so and hour,_

_ Before leaf subsides to leaf,_

_ So Eden sank to grief, _

_ So dawn goes down to day, _

_ Nothing gold can stay._"

"Where did you get that?" Pony shrugged

"Robert frost wrote it. I never really got what it meant, but remembered the words."

"I know what it means." I screamed slightly, and Pony whirled around.

"_Johnny?_ How did you get here!" I asked. Johnny shrugged.

"Dal let me come. I was worried about you guys. And the poem means that when you're a kid, you're gold, new, innocent. But as you get older, the gold and green fade away." I nodded.

"Yeah, I think you're right," I mused. Johnny's insight would never cease to amaze me. He had failed a year at school, and by now pretty much dropped out, but he wasn't dumb. He just had to take things slow, it took him a while to get things. But once he got things, he _got_ them.

"Is Dally here?" I asked. Johnny nodded.

"He's waitin' for you in the car. Said something about Dairy Queen."

"Oh thank God." I muttered. "I'm just about to die from starvation." Johnny smiled.

"We probably shouldn't keep him from waiting."

"Nope." I agreed. Pony didn't say anything, but I knew that he was relieved that someone had come for us. I knew he was worried that Dally would forget us. I thought that was unlikely, but then, this was Dally, who knew.

He was waiting in the car, rapping his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently.

"Took you long enough." He muttered. Johnny and Pony hopped into the backseat, leaving me with shotgun. I climbed in. Dally was never one to listen to speed limits. He drove like his life depended on getting somewhere. I usually liked fast driving, but maybe it was because I hadn't been in a car for a while I felt kinda sick. I almost lost the meager contains of my stomach when Dally took that turn on two wheels. When we stopped at the Dairy Queen, we all ordered barbecue sandwiches and banana splits. I started wolfing mine. I was usually a bit more polite when eating, but it wasn't like I had anyone to impress anyway. Dally was staring at me critically.

"Were you eating _anything_?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Yeah. Why?" Pony looked up.

"You've both lost a lot of weight. At least it looks like you've been out though. Don't wanna look too suspicious. Oh, and I got a letter to you two."

"From who?" Pony asked. Dally rolled his eyes.

"From the president... it's from Soda stupid."

"Oh." Pony grabbed the letter and started reading it out loud. **(A/N I can't remember what the note said, and my friend is borrowing my copy, so I just wrote a new letter) **

"_Dear Pony and Reagan. _

_ I guess you really did it this time. I know that Dally knows where you are, but he aint telling anyone. Darry's awful worried, Pony. You know he didn't mean to hit you. I wish you'd turn your selfves in, but I guess you can't to that to Reagan. Just hold in there. The rest of the gang are worried too. Somehow it leaked you were heading for Texas. I'm guess Dallas said that when he got hauled in. Two-Bit was all for going there and looking for you. Dally said we shouldn't. Which is another reason why I know he got you out. Just look after each other. _

_~Soda"_

I sighed. I couldn't stop thinking about that. _I wish you'd turn yourselves in..._ I wanted to. I was terrified, true, but I didn't want to hide out for the rest of my life. Dally started up the car again and I considered this.

"So, how come you got hauled in Dally?" Pony asked. Dally shrugged, making us swerve.

"Them cops know me by now. They haul me in for everything that happens."

"I wanna go back." I surprised even myself by being this upfront about it. Dally stared at me as though I was insane.

"What!" Dally looked furious, Pony scared, and Johnny just looked at me mildly, as though he had known I would do this.

"I said I wanna turn myself in." I spoke faster, knowing if I stopped I would never be able to finish. "I'm likely to get off easy. I've never been in trouble with the cops before, and I can say it was in self defense." Johnny spoke up.

"Cherry and Marcia can testify to that." I wondered who they were, but it didn't really matter. Dally looked furious.

"Do you know what a few months in jail can do to you?" I cringed.

"I can't do this to Pony. He didn't do anything wrong." Dally slammed his hand on the steering wheel.

"Why didn't you decide this before?" He shouted.

"I was scared. I still am. I don't know what's gonna happen." I was almost pleading now. "What will happen to me." Dally pushed his hair out of his face angrily.

"You know they don't go easy on greaser kids. They could jail you for the rest of your life, or worse."

"Do you want me to stay in hide-outs for the rest of my life?" I asked. I trusted Dally. He wasn't a nice person, but I trusted him. If he said yes I would stay. But I never did get my answer. We pulled into the church yard, and there were a bunch of people surrounding it. Huge pillars of smoke rose up from it. But we must have started it. We must have left a cigarette or something lying around. I opened the car door, just as Pony did.

"Stay in the car!" Dally yelled. "Come back before I bash your heads in!" But Johnny was following us, and Dally would have to park the car, then catch up, so I figured we were safe. I jogged up to a man.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"There was a fire..." I woman came careening towards the man.

"Jerry! Some of the kids are missing." I froze, and ever so faintly I could hear kids screaming. The noise came from inside the church.

"I'll get them!" Pony yelled.

"No! You're just a kid! I'll go!" Jerry yelled. But we got there first. Pony ripped a couple slats off a boarded up window and we ran inside. Instantly, my lungs rebelled. It was hazy, thick with smoke. I bent over, coughing.

"Where are they?" Johnny wheezed.

"Sh!" I heard the plaintive screams again. I ran into the other room, with Pony and Johnny at my heels. The kids were huddled in the corner, clutching one another. I grabbed one, and dropped him out the window. It wasn't a long drop, but I resolved to be careful with them. I saw one bite Pony, but he still was patient and gentle. Johnny's eyes for once lost the haunted look. He looked like he was having the time of his life. Maybe this was what Johnny needed all these years, to help someone else. His grin shone white against the dark gray back-drop. Then Dally appeared.

"Get out of there!" He screamed. "The roof is caving!" I hurriedly scooped up another kid. A piece of flaming wood flew toward the kid I was carrying and me. It struck me in the back, no doubt leaving a burn, but I could barely feel it. The I felt Dally dragging me out. He slapped me about as hard as he could on the back and I went under. The last thing I heard was Johnny's scream.

When I woke up I was lying face-down somewhere. I could not place where I was though. Then I heard a siren and it all came rushing back. The church... the fire... _Johnny..._ I tried to sit up, but something pushed my back down. I saw Pony looking at me. He looked scared. Beside him was the Jerry guy. I remember Johnny saying something about how he was too fat to fit through the window to help us with the kids.

"Where are Johnny and Dallas?" I croaked. Pony looked down.

"In the other ambulance." He whispered.

"Are they alright?"

"Dally will be fine. He got burned pretty badly on one arm though." Of course he would be alright. Dallas was always alright.

"And Johnny?" Pony looked at Jerry. And Jerry spoke.

"The black-haired kid isn't doing so well. He got hit across the back with a piece of timber from the roof. He may have a broken back." There was a pause while I took this in. _He may have a broken back..._

"Why did Dally hit me?" I asked.

"You were on fire. If he hadn't you would have died for sure. As it was you got burned badly on the back."

"Oh." I considered that. My brother had saved my life once again. I didn't know what to make of it.

"I was just telling Ponyboy here, you kids are the bravest I've ever seen. First you and the other two helping those kids, then the blonde boy getting you two out. It was amazing." I laughed humorlessly.

"We sure ain't heros. We're greasers."

"What?"

"You know, like hoods. I'm wanted for murder and my brother's record is a mile long."

"Brother? Murder?"

"Dallas. He's my brother. And you'll find out as soon as we get to town who we are." Jerry shrugged.

"We're taking you to the hospital there anyway." After that things were kind of a blur. I guess they medicated me so I wouldn't feel the pain so much. I remember the police, and reporters and stuff swarming the hospital. I remember the fight between the doctors and the police about whether or not I was healthy enough to go the jail. The answer was of course I wasn't. I had a second degree burn across the upper part of my back. But the thing I remembered most, the image that stayed in my head the whole time was of Johnny, unconscious being wheeled in a gurney by me. He was burned severely, but luckily his face was spared. It shattered my heart to see him though.

Before that, Dallas had been wheeled by, and as he saw me lying there, I could have sworn I saw worry in his eyes. Maybe he cared a little more for me after all. Or it could have been he was just worried about Johnny.

**So, I'm sorry for the really short chapter, but it seemed like a good ending place. And don't worry people, I'm not making Dally go soft. He does had a tiny sliver of a heart though. Even I realize that. Thank you for sticking with me thus far. As always, Stay Gold. **

**~Cozy**


	6. Chapter 6, Triumphs and Tragedies

**So, thank you for sticking with me throughout this. I really appreciate all of your wonderful support. I'm doing my best to update regularly. Question, concerns, comments, feel free to leave that in your reviews, or you can pm me. Thank you so much, enjoy!**

I groggily opened my eyes. Again, I was lying face-down. But this time I immediately knew where I was. The room was bright, with rays of sunlight streaming through the windows. I blinked, and stretched, but that proved to be a bad idea. I hadn't felt my back before, but I did now. It seemed like every nerve in it was screaming. I also noticed a cop sitting by the door. He looked at me, and I'm sure he knew I was awake.

"Soda!" I heard Pony scream. I smiled, imagining the reunion. There was a brief pause. Then. "Darry!" It made me feel better that Pony had forgiven Darry. I wondered if the cop would let them see me. I hoped so. I had missed Soda more than anyone during my stay in Windrixville. I needed him to make me feel better too. I wanted to know how Johnny was doing, and what would happen to me.

Then his head popped into the room.

"Reagan?" My heart just about exploded.

"Soda!" I wish I could run to him, leap into his arms like I pictured Pony doing, but with my back the best I could manage was to get into a somewhat upright position. He hugged me gingerly, just holding onto my shoulders. I ignored the screaming pain in my back and hugged him as hard as I could.

"What's going to happen now?" I asked. Soda's face instantly fell. I felt kind of bad for ruining the joyful moment, but I couldn't stand one more moment not knowing.

"We don't know. They wanna haul you off to jail once you're healed. There is a trial in a month. Even if they let you off charges they'll most likely put you in a girls' home. It doesn't look good Reagan." I just sat there on the edge of my bed, trying to take this in. A girls' home. If I got off charges. I would not be able to see Pony, or Soda, or Johnny, or anyone until I turned eighteen. Johnny!

"How's Johnny doing?" Soda sighed, and if possible his face fell even more.

"Bad. The doc says he's got a broken back. He won't ever be able to walk again even if he does heal."

"If?"

"It's bad. Pony's crushed. But Dally's okay."

"Okay." Truth is I wasn't thinking about Dally in the slightest. I was too wrapped up in Johnny, and myself. "How's Pony?"

"He's exhausted. And worried about you and Johnny."

"I'm scared." He looked a little surprised. I guess I had never been this open before. I was though, I had heard stories from Dally about jail. It was not a place I would ever want to go.

"I know. We're doing our best. But it doesn't look good. Cherry came over though, she'll testify that Bob- the Soc you killed was looking for a fight as well as drunk. Marcia can agree to that."

"Cherry? Marcia?" Girls that Pony, Johnny and Two-Bit picked up. They walked out on their boyfriends Bob and Randy. They got mad and were looking for revenge. An they found you two." I took a deep breath.

"How long till I have to go to jail?" Soda shrugged.

"They aren't sure. It's a pretty bad burn, but they think that in a few weeks you'll be sound enough to go. Then the hearing is a week after that." I shuddered.

"So no matter what I have to spend a week in jail?" Soda nodded.

"And unless we can think of something, you'll end out in a girls' home. We're trying to get Dallas to adopt you, then we can keep looking after you, but with his record it's unlikely that'll fly."

"Dallas adopt me." Soda shrugged.

"It's the best we can do." His voice lowered. "Me and Pony might get thrown in a boy's home too if Darry can't keep custody. If they decide that Darry hasn't been a good enough guardian letting Pony run away and all that they could do that too."

"Soda. And you didn't even do anything." I started crying. I wanted to brush the tears away, but right then, it seemed like all the energy I had once had, had been totally sucked out of me. "I'm so sorry." I whispered. Soda pulled me towards him, carefully avoiding my back as before. I wanted to stay there forever. But nothing was ever that simple.

Over the next two and a half weeks, I spent all my time in bed. I though that would kill me. Soda came to see me a lot though, and that made things better. Dally's arm was almost healed, and he would be leaving today. I learned a lot of things, one, Johnny was doing badly. The chance that he may die seemed to go up every day, and two, that there was a rumble for tonight. Apparently the kid I'd killed (I still shudder at every mention of this word) had a lot of friends. According to Soda it was Soc against grease. I guess Two-Bit had gotten jumped, but he had pulled out that fancy switch of his and they bolted. I guess now they know that we mean it when we pull our blades.

I was also terrified of the imminent threat of jail. Every day I got better, I was a day closer to being behind bars.

"Reagan!" I woke up, startled. It was the middle of the day, but I had nothing better to do that sleep.

"Dally?" He was there, but my security guard was not. "What are you doing here? Where's the guard?" Dally shrugged.

"You gotta make the rumble. We gotta win it for Johnny."

"Okay." I got up, wincing slightly.

"Will you be able to fight?"

"Yeah." I had to. Like Dally said, we had to do it for Johnny. Dally chuckled for a moment. "What?"

"When I hit you to put out the fire, you dropped so fast I thought I'd broke n your neck. Glad I didn't." I didn't say anything, but those words had to have been the nicest he'd ever said to me. Dally wasn't sentimental. He didn't mean it in that way. But suddenly, I didn't mind that he was my brother. And all because he said he was glad he hadn't killed me. It was something though. And with Dally, something was a lot.

"We going to the lot?" I asked. Dally nodded.

"We had an agreement with the Socs. No blades, or whatever. Just skin." I nodded. Later I would think about the risk I took leaving the hospital. I was already supposed to go to jail soon. Running away would only make things worse. But right then, that was way far back in my brain. It didn't cross my mind until much later. Like when I got caught. But more on that later.

When we arrived at the site of the rumble, Darry was facing off to some Soc. Everyone's eyes were wild.

"Wait!" Dally called. Darry turned, and the Soc took the opportunity to slug Darry as hard as he could. I winced just looking at the force of the blow. But it didn't fell Darry. And that was when things really got started. I looked for Ponyboy. I remembered him saying that Johnny and him used to gang up on a big Soc before. As for me, I could take most of these guys without help, but I wanted to make sure Pony was okay. I ended up having to fight my way to him. I think I musta given some Soc a black eye, but I didn't stick around to find out. And Darry made it to Pony before me. He was keeping a lookout for him. I nodded at him, before smashing the head of someone who was about to jump on Steve. He nodded at me, before bounding off to help Soda, where he was trying to fight off three of 'em.

I found myself in a similar situation. The had me backed up against a wall, punching hard as they could. I tried to fight my way out, but it didn't do much. Luckily, Dally was near and got them off.

"Thanks." I breathed, panting. Two-Bit howled near me, making me jump out of my skin. I saw blood dripping down him knuckles, but it looked like he was having the time of his life regardless. One Brumley boy was laughing maniacally in between punches. I spotted Pony on the ground, arms around one Soc while another was kicking him in the head. Soda and I got there and the same time, both furious. Pony was like a kid brother, even if he was the same age. I would never tell him this, but he wasn't hard enough to do serious fighting. He had too much morale.

"Look at them! They're running!" Someone, I think Two-Bit screamed. I stood there, faint almost. Pony got up and stood next to me. Soda had left Pony in my care, and was sitting next to Steve, who we found out later had three broken ribs. Tim Shepard was swearing a blue streak, because for the second or third time he had broken his nose. The leader of the Brumley's was working over one of his own guys who had broken the rules. I had seen him use a piece of pipe in the fighting. No one looked in very good shape. Everyone was faintly grinning, but it wasn't a well-won fight. It was a fight I wished hadn't happened. The adrenaline rush that had kept me going before was gone, and my back was killing me. I was rendered almost helpless. Pony help onto me, and I leaned on him.

Then someone was grabbing my shirt collar, and Pony's too. I looked up. Dally was looking down at me.

"C'mon! We gotta go! Johnny wants to see you both!" I allowed myself to be dragged, and then shoved in the backseat of his car, next to Pony. We were going much faster that then speed limit, and I wasn't much surprised when a cop pulled us over. Dallas swore.

"Alright, where's the fire?" He said sarcastically. Dally shoved a finger back at us.

"The kids were on their motorcycle and they crashed." The cop's face instantly changed to sympathetic. I guess we didn't look so good either, having just been in a rumble. I lowered my head, trying to hide my face from view. "I was taking them to the hospital."

"Oh, is it bad? Do you want an escort?" Dally shrugged.

"I ain't a doctor. I don't know how bad it is. But sure, we could use an escort." As soon as the cop climbed back on his motorcycle, Dally grinned.

"Sucker." He hissed. I didn't feel anything though. No fear when the cop came, no relief when Dally's lying let us go easy. I had been thoroughly numbed. I didn't want to feel anything. If I started to, I might think about Bob. If I did that, I would be sucked into a never-ending pool of guilt. I couldn't do that now. Right now I had to be strong. I couldn't let people know how close to collapsing I truly was.

As soon as we got to the hospital, we ran for Johnny's room. The doctor was there though, blocking the way. Dally flicked out a switch blade. Dully, I realized it was Two-Bit's.

"We gotta see him!" He demanded. The doctor rubbed his temple wearily.

"I'll let you see him, but it's because you're his friends not because of that knife." He said. Dally looked a little taken aback, but he put away the blade. Johnny was looked at us, from where he was, on his stomach.

"Hey." He whispered.

"Hi Johnny." I got choked up. It was then that I realized that he really might die.

"We won." Dally said. "We beat those Socs."

"It's no use... fighting." Johnny rasped. Dally looked nervous.

"You know, they're still writing editorials about you in the paper. For being a hero and all. We're all proud of you buddy." I could see they way Johnny's eyes glowed, and just how much he needed Dally to be proud. I leaned near him.

"Johnny, I'm so sorry. But Dal, he won't say it, but he's really proud. Not just the rest of the boys. He is." If possible, Johnny's eyes glowed even more. He looked content.

"Pony.. Come here." Pony leaned down. I started to give them space, but Johnny touched my arm and I stayed.

"Stay gold. Stay gold." Then he died. I would never forget how he looked. He wasn't sleeping, he was dead. And I was the one who started the whole think. I was crying, but it took he a while to notice it. Dally punched the wall.

"Dammit Johnny! Don't die now!" He pushed the hair back from Johnny's eyes. "Never could keep your hair outta your face. That's what you get!" In a way, it was harder to see my brother fall apart than it was to see Johnny die. Johnny dying, some part of me always knew that was going to happen sometime. But Dallas was nearer to tears than I had ever seen him since Mom died. He grabbed my arm and started running. We cut through traffic, and all sorts of yards. If he heard the people screaming at him, and swearing, he didn't say anything. I heard the sirens, but couldn't find the strength to tell him. He knew though. I know he knew.

Then he stopped. I know he'd given up. He grabbed me suddenly, and I felt something against my temple. I knew instinctively that it was a gun. I remembered him saying he'd been carrying one. _But it wasn't loaded. _

"What are you doing?"

"You ran away from a hospital where you were charged with murder. I'm saving you. You say I did it, I made you go, you hear?" I nodded. I was still crying. Cops got out of their cars and raised their guns.

"Drop the gun." One warned. "Drop it." Dally, instead, pointed it towards him. Another officer shot.

"No!" I heard myself scream. "Dally!" He jerked around, and the look I saw on his face was grim determination. I was sobbing even harder now. I knelt by Dally. I heard panting, and saw Pony come running up with the rest of the gang. He must have gone to get them.

"Oh God." I heard someone murmur. I heard a choked sob. I was kneeling there, shaking Dally. I knew he was gone. And the last thing he had done was for me. He had saved me with his last breath. Dally had never been a loving brother. But I remembered what he had done for me. How he had kept me alive in New York. He had brought me here, shown me the Curtis's. I remembered how he's said that he almost thought he'd killed me, putting the fire out in my back. I realized that however heartless my brother was, I loved him. And it made it that much harder to find that out now, when his blood was painting the street. I hadn't been a particularly good sister either. But now he was dead.

No one would write editorials about Dally being a hero. Only me, and maybe Johnny, wherever he is, would know what Dally had done. How he had saved me. Dallas Winston had gone gallantly.

**Man, that was a lot harder to write than you might think. So, please, leave a review. What do you think should happen now? Should Reagan and Pony and Soda get put in homes? Or stay with Darry? Let me know. And I already know what's going to happen, I have a plan (I know, I have a _plan_) but I would love to know what you think. Thanks for your time, **

**~Cozy **


	7. Chapter 7, A New Life

**Okay, I am SO sorry about the wait. I don't have a laptop over summer, so there was no way to write. But now hopefully I'm back! So, moment of truth here, what's going to happen to Reagan, Soda, and Ponyboy? _Please_ tell me what you think! Thanks so much!**

I was still kneeling by my brother when they arrested me. My hands were pulled behind my back and locked there. It hurt my back, where my burn had not yet fully healed, but I didn't care. In a way, I welcomed the pain. All I could think was that they were both dead. Johnny, who had been accurately called a hero, and Dally, who would have no one call him a hero, but was in a way nonetheless. He had not been such a bad brother in the grand scheme of things.

I looked at Soda helplessly as I was towed into a cop car. He was trying to get to me, but Darry was holding him back. I was still sobbing, unable to put a hold on my emotions. But Dally had taught me how to do that. His sneering face telling me not to show my emotion broke through my thoughts. I swallowed my tears and glared out the window.

I was thrown in a room. It was obviously better than what Dally got when he went to jail, but it was pretty much just a bare room with a cot on one end an a toilet on the other. I hoped with everything I had left that I charges wouldn't be pressed. There was no way I wanted to spend any amount of time in this place. There was one window, but there were bars, which ruined the appeal for me. I had never really noticed how claustrophobic I was before, having never really been shut in a confined space, but I was sweating within minutes. I took deep breaths, which helped, if only a little. I had not real concept of passing time. No one had come to see me, so I was assuming that I was not allowed visitors.

I spent a whole night in that cell (I watched as the sun fell then rose again) before I had any comfort. Then comfort came from a JD hood like myself. Only, I'm sure be had done whatever it was he'd done. I saw him as I came to lunch that day, in a bog room with about fifty guards and about a hundred kids from all over. I wasn't really sure where I was. I had lost track on it after I got picked up by the fuzz. But I saw him where he was sitting at a table and sat down next to him. He looked up and smiled.

"Hey kid. What the hell are you doing here?" I frowned.

"You don't know?" He shrugged.

"I've been in here for a month."

"Oh. I killed a Soc. Me and Pony got jumped, and I killed one that was gonna beat me up. Johnny's dead too." A stricken look crossed his face.

"Jesus, I'm sorry. How's Pony?" I shrugged.

"I don't know. Dallas is dead as well." Curly blanched.

"Your brother is dead?" I nodded. "Holy shit. How?"

"He got me out of the hospital where eI was supposed the be until I was brought here to fight in a rumble, the he took us to the hospital to see Johnny, Johnny died, and then the fuzz caught up to us. Then Dally-" My voice caught, and Curly waited patiently while I composed myself. He may not have been the smartest, and he was definitely greasy and wasn't a very nice person, but unlike my brother there was a soft side to him.

"Dally pointed this unloaded gun he'd been carrying to make it look like he brought me there against my will, then pointed at a cop. He was shot. It was what he wanted though." And Dallas Winston always got what he wanted. Curly's brow crinkled.

"How did you and Johnny have to go to the hospital?"

"There was a fire at the old church we were hiding out in, Dallas took Johnny with him to see me and Pony and we went to DQ, then when we got back it was on fire. Some kids were there and were stuck inside. Johnny, Pony, and me went to go help them. I caught on fire, and Dallas saved me, but Johnny was hit across the back with a piece of the roof. Broke his back."

"I'm sorry." Curly seemed just about as sincere as he had ever. Sure, ours and Tim's gang had had our own disputes, but none of us really hated the other. We kinda just fought each other for kicks. The only other ones we could fight were the Socs, and we were all smart enough to know that that would be one battle we would never win. Society backed the Socs. Which was one reason that I was terrified to hear the verdict on the upcoming court case. I knew that no one would judge a greaser lightly.

"So, you know your sentence for killing the kid?" Curly asked. I shook my head.

"The trial's in a couple days I think."

"They'll go easy on you." I was skeptical, but didn't have time to reply, as we were all herded back to our "rooms". At least they were private. I found myself being angry. Angry that Johnny was dead, and that Dally was. I had never really dwelled too much on that I was a greaser. It was how I had been brought up, it was how it would always be. But I found myself wishing that there were no class levels. I bet some of the Socs weren't as bad as we were taught they were. I was mad though that society always took their side. We were never given any breaks. It seemed so unfair, that I wanted to scream at it. But that would have been so childish that I scorned myself for even having formed that thought. It was stupid.

I wondered what I would do given the chance. I had always wanted to open a horse barn of my own. I wanted it to be perfect. It would be on a lot of land, and walking down the isle you'd see prizewinning horses. But even if people would come to me, I had no money to even get started. I always dreamed that one day I would be able to own Hawke though. I knew what happened to Soda's horse Mickey Mouse and I was in constant fear that something like that was going to happen to me. I couldn't lose Hawke. I just couldn't. If he went to someone else and had one of his episodes, someone might get hurt. If someone got hurt than he might get elected to be put down. That would just about break my heart. Still, I think it would be better than what happened. Mickey just disappeared without a trace one day. He had no idea what had become of him.

And then it was the day of the trial. To say I was nervous was about as light as you could put it. In all honesty I was shaking I was so scared. When they took me out and gave my real clothes my hands were shaking so badly I could hardly get dressed. When I did, and came out of my cell, the guard took me to a big room. I was seated in a bench next to Pony, who looked at scared as me. I took his hand, and he squeezed it tightly. Soda and Darry were there too, further along the bench, and they smiled grimly. I could not make my lips form the necessary shape to smile, though it was not for lack of trying.

I was asked questions, as was everyone else. I tried to answer as honestly as I could. I think the judge took pity on me though, for when she saw the condition of my legs, she let me sit to answer the questions. I think that if I had to stand I would not have found myself able. She did the same to Pony, but Darry, Soda, and some girl named Sherri had to stand. The Socs who were part of the group that jumped us also testified that I had only killed the Soc in self-defense. I began to think that maybe I could pull through this.

Then the judge banged her gavel. I couldn't breath. Pony was crushing my hand so hard that I feared it might break.

"This is the verdict. The defendant Reagan Lindsey Winston will be sent to live in a home until she is adapted or turns eighteen, though all other charges will be dropped. Ponyboy Michael Curtis and Sodapop Patrick Curtis will also be sent to a home until they are adopted or turn eighteen. My heart plummeted until I think that it was in the center of the earth. I still couldn't find my breath. I saw that Pony was wracked with silent sobs. Soda was white, and Darry looked so sad that just seeing his face made me want to cry. If there was one word I could use to describe what he looked like it would be defeated. He had tried so hard to keep Pony and Soda out of trouble to avoid this, but in the end it had been futile. I heard later that he had tried to adapt me too. He had sacrificed everything for Pony and Soda, but in the end the lost them too. It was excruciating. I wouldn't let go of Pony. He held hard to me. I reached over Pony for Soda. He took my hand with a ferocity. I saw a tear slip down his cheek. Pony took Darry's hand, and Darry Soda's. It would be the last time I would see them until I turned eighteen. Soda would have Pony, but me and Darry, we were alone.

Someone took our picture, and I made no move to hide my tears. Let people see what the judge had done to us. It was my fault though. Entirely my fault. I hated myself more that anyone else. I blamed myself entirely for it. I should've done something else. Fought without the blade, screamed my head off, _something_. But no, I had to kill him. And that got Johnny and Dally killed. And now we were separated. I felt a hundred years old in the time after they dragged us apart. I felt as though the strength I had before was nothing now. Diminished completely.

It was a long ride to the home I was going to. The driver offered up random bits of information. It was a girls only place, with girls from ages 12-17. I would have to share my room with someone, and that someone had apparently already been told that I was a murderer (they put it a little more diplomatically than that). I didn't really care though. I just wanted to go home. To my real home. Wished for Soda. Or even Steve, if he had been here I would have kissed him. But I was by myself. I told myself repeatedly to get over it, and to face facts, but I needed some time. Too much had happened. I had seen three people die in only about a month. Not many people could say the same.

"We're here." The driver was gruff, and he opened my door crisply. I stepped out and stared in apprehension at the massive stone building that would be my home. Even just looking at it, it seemed sinister. I shivered, and looked at the driver. He began to walk toward the big door, and I followed him. I had not been allowed to get my clothes from the Curtis's assured that I was be issued with some here, so I had nothing to carry. We were met at the door by a woman who appeared to be around fifty, give or take. She was tall and bony, and looked as severe as the house.

"You must be Winston." I was strange hearing my last name like that. Usually it was spat after Dally, as though some curse. _Dallas Winston._ I had often forgotten we shared the same name.

"Yes ma'am." I said politely as I could. I was not normally this polite; before I had dropped out of school I regularly got thrown out of class for being disrespectful, but this woman was not one I wanted to get on the bad side of.

"Follow me." She addressed the driver. "I'll take her from here." He shot my a look, that I think was apologetic. I struggled to keep up with the woman. Her legs were much longer than mine, and she walked briskly, with purpose.

There were two main corridors. She pointed to the left one.

"You'll find your classes there." We went the other way though. I dreaded having to go back to school, but decided to cross that bridge when I came to it.

"This is your room." She announced, stopping by the last door on the left. It bore the number _80_ in brass lettering. "Your roommate is already there and she has been instructed to show you what to do." She opened the door and all but shoved me in before taking off again. I looked around the room. There were two beds, one closet and little else. There seemed to be no personal items of any kind in here. There was one girl on the bed, a rather large girl, though not fat. Her red hair was straggly and unkempt, coming out of her braid. She looked up.

"So you're Winston?" I nodded, expecting the use of my last name this time.

"I'm Morgan." She pointed to the closet. "Clothes are in there, I would recommend putting 'em on before dinner." I looked in the closet and next to a side marked with my last name were some black pants and a white blouse, like what Morgan was wearing. They fit pretty well, considering that they had not seen me before.

"What are classes like?" I asked. Morgan looked at me.

"Not too hard. The teachers have barely gotten more education that us. Why?" I shrugged.

"I dropped out last year. Wondering of I'll pass." Again Morgan shrugged.

"There's a big test you have to take, and that'll decide which classes you're in, not age. Though, I'm in classes with 12-year-olds and it's a little embarrassing. I dropped out too before I got sent here a year ago."

"Oh. How old are you?"

"Thirteen." It sure didn't look like she was that young. She must have been taller than me by about three or four inches, as she was broader too. The only thing that made her look younger was her round face. I flopped on the bed. Morgan stopped talking to me, and I was glad. It was the kindest thing that she could have done. I needed time right now, not a friend. I needed to think about what was going to happen to me. Most of all I had to got ever the face that I was in a girls home.

**So, there you go. I have no idea how authentic this is, I'm sure not very, but this is where the fiction part is going to come in. Sorry, but I strive to have a good story, not have all my fact right. Thanks for your time,**

**~Cozy**


	8. Chapter 8, I Can't do this Anymore

**I'm Baaack! Now we get to see what the home is like for Pony and Soda. I still am going to be mainly in Reagan's point of view, but I feel that Pony and Soda should have some say too. I might do a little from Darry, we'll see how this chapter goes, but it probably won't be much. I'm sorry if it's (and it probably will be) OOC. I find it much easier to write from my OC's POV, but I really thought we needed something from Soda and Pony. Enjoy! And guys, seriously. I need to know that I'm not just writing this for the hell of it. If you're reading this and liking it (or not, whichever) please leave me a review and let me know. Even just a few words will suffice. Please guys. I didn't get a single review last chapter. Not one. **

Soda's POV

At least I had Pony. This was what I kept telling myself. At least I had him. I felt awful for Reagan. She was by herself. She had had to cope with much more than someone her age should. So had Pony. But I was doing my best the be Pony's rock. I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to fall apart. I was ready to start bawling myself, but I was real worried about Pony. He had been different since Johnny died, more subdued. I saw him looking at a book, for almost a half hour staring at it. It was _Gone with the Wind_. I asked him about the book, and he shrugged, saying that he hadn't been able to finish it.

"I was reading it to Johnny." He said. I can't really remember what I replied. I had been speechless. I had been trying to get him to talk, but all I had done was make him feel worse. My sanity depended on being able to keep Pony over the edge, but I was scared he was going to disappear completely. I couldn't believe how we had gotten taken away from Darry. He had been stricter than Mom and Dad. He kept Pony in school, and always looked after us. Who knows what would have happened to Reagan if Darry hadn't taken her in. He was my brother. I could only imagine how he felt. But I felt the worst for Reagan. She had watched her brother die beside her. Then she spent a week in jail. It must have been hard. I imagined she blamed herself as well. And as alone as I felt, it must have been worse for her. She had no one.

"Soda?" I turned my head.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going back to school?" I shrugged. One of the "perks" of this place was the mandatory school.

"I guess I don't have a choice. Man, that'll be embarrassing. I haven't gone in like three years." Pony flashed one of his rare grins.

"I can tudor you!"

"Alright. You are smarter." Pony threw a pillow at me.

"You are smart!" He insisted. I danced away from him.

"Am not!" I sang. He chased after me and jumped tackling me. I fell with a huge crash. For the first time on a while I was laughing. Of course it could not last though. The door the the room was opened, and a crisp taciturn looking man came in. When he saw us rolling around on the floor he shook his head in disapproval.

"Mr. Curtis!" We both stopped laughing and got up.

"Yes sir?" I answered. Pony looked too scared to speak.

"What, may I ask were you doing?" Ummm...

"We were talking about school, and then I slipped. Soda was trying to help me up but he slipped too." It always has spooked my how easily Pony could lie. The man pursed his lips.

"You are old enough to be responsible. In the future I expect you to be more careful." The door was slammed. Pony and I looked at each other and dove onto the bed to smother our laughing.

Reagan POV

It was impossible to get used to what I was now supposed to call a home. I had never really been disciplined, even Mom had been pretty easy-going. Now, being practically locked up in a house, having to cope with school again, I had almost reached my breaking point. The only thing that kept me going was what Dally had done to keep me out of jail. Jail had been so much worse. I would never know if Dally had really helped in the the grand scheme of things, but I appreciated what he did every passing day. I liked Morgan too. She always gave me a chance to talk about whatever, but never pressed me for answers when I refused. And I got a letter from Pony and Soda which made my week. Morgan gave it to me as she came in from one of her later classes.

"Here. I picked this up for you." I hadn't really known what it was, then when I read the address, I could barely breath, trying not to hope too much. It came from the Windrixville Boy's Home. My hands shook so much I couldn't get it out of the envelope. Morgan took it from me, opened it, and gave it back. Then she went to her bed to give me some space. I read the note, tears threatening to spill over.

_Dear Reagan, _

_ I miss you something awful here. I have Soda which is great, but I know he misses you too. I just wanted to let you know that you better not be blaming yourself for what happened. You probably saved my life when you did it. I never got a chance to really thank you. I guess things just happened too fast. We got a couple letters from Darry. For some reason he said that his never got through to you. He's doing all he can to regain custody for all of us. Soda got a letter from Steve, Tim Shepard was over saying how sorry he was about Dal. Even the Socs seem a little taken aback. If you get this, please write us back. I can still read your poems for you if you're still writing them. I wanted to give you a poem too. I know it's not mine, but remember me and Johnny with it. _

The tears did spill over when I read the last part. In calligraphy almost, a handwriting I didn't even know Pony could do, was a poem

_ Nature's first green is gold, _

_Her hardest hue to hold. _

_Her early leaf's a flower, _

_But only so an hour,_

_Before leaf subsides to leaf,_

_So Eden sank to grief,_

_So dawn goes down to day, _

_Nothing gold can stay. _

I would never be able to forget that poem. And I would never forget Johnny. I felt a surge of love for Pony, and what he had given me. I resolved never to forget. There was a letter from Soda too.

_Rea, we all really miss you. I bet Pony told you this, but you cant be blaming yourself for this. Dally would kill you if you were. You know he would. I know Pony did, but I wanted to thank you for saving his life. I know it was hard, but I really believe that you saved him. I know part of the reason he was so spooked was that he thought he was going to die. It's a terrible thing, thinking you're going to die. _

_ Well, I hope you're doing alright. We really miss you. I wish you were here with us. I turn eighteen in seven months. Maybe I can try to get custody of you two if Darry cant. You know he's trying. Then I'll get my sister back. Soda. _

The tears overflowed and I sobbed openly. It had always been inferred, but Soda had never said outright I was his sister. It meant a lot to me, more that someone might think. He sounded lonely too. And he and Pony both think that I saved Pony's life. That meant a lot to me too. It made me feel like somehow, this had not been all for nothing. Maybe I had done something good. It was a serious case of wrong place at the wrong time. If those Socs had never jumped us this would never have happened. I began to feel anger toward the Socs again. I tried to control it, but I ended out crying in anger now. They had torn everything away from us. And they would always win. Every time they won. I wondered if maybe Dallas had a reason for being so bitter. But I had resolved a long time ago not to become like him. I didn't want to walk the road he had. But then, I don't know that he had ever actually murdered anyone.

It took me a while, but in the end, I stopped crying. I was all cried out. My head was pounding, and I was sure I was a wreck, but only one thing really stood out to me; I had to get out of here. I know that if I was caught I would get into huge trouble, but I couldn't stand staying here any longer. It was too oppressive, and though I liked Morgan, I had never felt so lonely in my life, even those long years in New York with Dally. I needed to find Pony and Soda. And with the note they gave me, I had my needed materials.

Morgan was looking at me expectantly.

"Are you alright?" She asked, hesitantly, as though she wasn't sure that she should ask me that.

"I might be, but I have to find them." She looked at me oddly.

"My brothers. Sort of. They're in a boy's home. I need to find them."

"That's not a great idea... I mean, it's just... what if you get caught?" I shrugged.

"Then I'll probably go to jail." She looked at me strangely again, but I wasn't ready to answer that particular question. "But it can't be worse than here. I have to try to get them back."

"Okay. Is there any way I can help?" I shook my head.

"I have to do this on my own."

"When are you leaving?" I shrugged.

"I don't know I want to write to them first. See what they think. Their older brother is trying to get custody again, I want to see if he can do it before I jump the gun. Maybe wait a month. At the most."

"Okay." I went the the tiny desk by the bed. I rummaged through the drawer until I found a pad of paper and a little broken off pencil. I began to write.

_ Pony, Soda, It was amazing to hear from you. Don't worry, I'm fine. I miss you too. I bet people are surprised that Dally's dead. I wonder why Darry hasn't been able to talk to me... I hope that this works and you guys can go home. I wish I could be with you, but don't worry about me. Could Darry forward letter for me to you then give them to me? I don't know. I hope that everything is alright with you guys. It's lonely here without you, but I'm okay. Don't worry about me. _

_ Soda, I just wanted to thank you for always being there for me. You're like my older brother. I really appreciate all the things you've done for me. When you said I was your sister, it meant a lot more to me than you might think. I just thought you should know if I don't get to see you before I turn eighteen. _

_ Pony, I regret killing the Soc, but I'd do it all again if it would save you. I thought of a poem too, by the way. Let me know what you think. _

_A giant oppression,_

_Racing through the sky,_

_Waiting for its victim,_

_To swoop and make them cry,_

_It pierces at my soul, _

_It saps away my strength,_

_It really takes its toll,_

_I don't know what to say,_

_I don't know what to do,_

_I'm oppressed every day_

_I guess that doesn't sound too happy huh? Well, I can't say I'm having a good time here, but really, worry about yourselves more than me. Thank you for writing to me, it meant more than you would think. It totally made my day. Please keep writing. _

_Love Reagan. _

**Darry POV**

I had a hard time those weeks following losing the three of them. I know I was hard on them sometimes, especially Pony, but honestly, it was because I cared so much about them. I don't really regret not going to college, I mean, I always will, but I'll always know that I made the right choice in the end. But I couldn't stop blaming myself for losing them. If I had never hit Pony, this never would have happened. They would all be home now, Johnny and Dally would be alive, and we would all be together and happy again. Almost every day I was on the phone with one lawyer or another, making appeal after appeal to get them back to where they belonged. But each time I was overruled. Apparently I'd had my chance to be a good guardian and now I had to be alone. I tried to make myself busy, working harder than I ever had before. I roofed more houses than I ever had, though I remembered Soda and Pony ganging up on me not to carry two bundles of roofing at a time. I never did either.

Every night though, when I closed my eyes images flashed through my mind. I saw Pony, waving with Soda and mom and dad. All of them I had lost. I remembered the look of triumph on Reagan's face as she got the fastest time on a barrel race. I also saw bad things though. The look in Pony's face when I hit him. The pleading glance Soda gave me when he was being taken away to the home. I saw Reagan breaking in her tough demeanor, sobbing helplessly as Dally lay bleeding out. I thought about how much I had lost- how much we all had. But nothing stymied my hopes of getting them back. Or even Soda once he turned 18. Anything to get them out of those homes. I had friends who had grown up their. I knew what it did to you. If only Mom and Dad were here. Everything would be alright.

**So, again, really short chapter, and I'm sorry, but again it just seemed like a good stopping place. Thank you so much for reading. How'd you like the poem ;) Worked for a good ten minutes on that one. **


	9. Chapter 9, Colic and Lumber Mills

**Wow. I can't believe that I'm already at almost ten chapters. This blows my mind. I want to thank all of you who have helped my by giving moral support, or criticism. Even that one person who I wrote the story for to spite. I was told that all Dally sister fics were bad. I set out to prove her wrong. Please let me know, have I succeeded? Be honest. Thanks so much! And just to let you know, unless you hear otherwise the story will be in Reagan's POV. And I am sorry, but being a horse person this chapter will have a lot of horsey stuff. **

"Are you sure you mailed the letter to the right address?"

"Yes I'm sure!" I said exasperatedly. Of course I immediately regretted snapping at Morgan. She had been my only support these weeks. I had finally caved and told her what had happened she didn't heap on the pity. But I learned that that wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted her to know. I was tired of keeping in. She only grabbed my hand.

"I'm sorry." She had murmured. That was all we said to each other. But it was just... better knowing that someone else was in on what had happened. I still hated it here though. I wasn't actually having a hard time in school, which was a plus I hadn't expected, but everything else was a disaster. I had nightmares almost every night, and I couldn't stop thinking about Soda, and Pony, and Dally, and Darry no matter how hard I tired not to. Then the night came where it all changed.

I woke to a loud rapping on the window. It took a long time to realize that it wasn't a dream. Morgan was still dead to the world. I rose, and went to the window. When I saw who was rapping at the window I nearly had a heart attack.

"_Soda?" _I murmured. He grinned. I opened the window, my hands shaking like crazy.

"How?" It was one word, but even that was hard to say. I couldn't stop thinking this was a dream. It would be a cruel dream, as soon as I woke up alone. But that smile... no dream could capture that smile.

"Hey Rae." I ran to him, and hugged him hard enough that I may have broken a couple ribs.

"Soda!" He hugged me back, and lifted me off my feet. I felt the tears swimming in my eyes.

"Where's Pony? And why are you here?" His face darkened.

"Soda, what's wrong?" He took a deep breath.

"I got a call from Darry. You know that horse of yours?" I rolled my eyes.

"Of course I know my horse."

"Well, he's real sick. Impaction colic." I paled.

"Since when?"

"An hour." I looked at him pleadingly.

"Soda, I gotta go help him. Please. Soda, you gotta let me help him." He nodded.

"I know. That's why I'm here. Pony doesn't know. I left a note for him. I nodded, and hurriedly scribbled one for Morgan, leaving it on her bedside table.

"Let's go." He climbed back out the window, and I followed, though much more hesitantly.

"How do we get down?" I wondered. Soda shrugged.

"Same way I got up. Climb down the trellis. I gulped. It was long and rickety, and I had this thing about ladders. But I forced myself to deal with it. With all the shit I'd been through, this had to be one of the least dangerous things I'd done. Soda climbed down first, jumping off at the end.

"I'll catch you if you fall." He hissed. I took in a deep breath and slowly began climbing down. When I was a few feet from the bottom, I jumped, and Soda steadied me before I could fall onto my knees. Off in the distance, a dog barked.

"How are we getting out of here?" I asked. "How did you get here?" Soda just grinned.

"You'll see in a second." I stuck my tongue out at him but it was so dark, I wasn't sure that he had even seen. I heard him chuckling softly. I followed him, trying not to fall, but let's face it, I was clumsy enough on a flat surface in the daytime, let alone at night on a field full of holes. When we got to the road, Soda stopped.

"Our ride will be here in a minute." I would have asked who, or what the ride was, but knowing Soda he wouldn't tell me. A second later I car came roaring up.

"Come on!" I familiar voice called. My grin expanded. I got in the front seat, and Soda, got in too, squishing me over. Sure enough, in the dim light of the beat up chevy, I could see red sideburns. Two-Bit had come to the rescue.

"Two-Bit!" I shrieked. He winced, proving my theory that he was, as always, hungover. That much hadn't changed. I grinned though.

"Hey kid. We sure did miss ya." Had to grin. It was Two-Bit!

"You too." I never fully appreciated how good my life had been before. I complained about so many things, maybe not out loud, but I complained so much in my head. I hadn't known what it was like to be alone. I had missed the gang more than anyone could possibly imagine. Johnny was no exception. And then there was Dallas. What he had done in his last moments, redefined what I thought of him. I always had loved him deep down, he had just always been there when it really counted. But after the stunt with the cops, I would give anything to have ten minutes to talk to him. Demand answers maybe. Or just to see that famous Winston smirk one more time. I don't claim that Dally and I had a big brother/sister relationship. But we were okay. I was alive today because of him in more ways than one.

"Rae?" I sat up.

"What?"

"We're here." Soda said softly. I swallowed and climbed out of the car after Soda. I could only pray that we were not too late. Hawke was strong. He'd better be holding on. I practically ran into the barn. The arena lights were on. Hawke looked over at me as I burst into the barn.

One of the people at the barn that I'd talked to on occasion was leading Hawke around, trying to make him better. I grabbed his lead, tears coming to my eyes as his liquid brown eyes looked into mine. I saw the open trust, but I also saw fear. I pushed back his lip and his gums were white as a sheet. This meant that the blood was not flowing. Which meant that it was impaction colic. Which meant that it was really bad. Horses died of impaction colic all the time. But those horses were not Hawke. I wasn't going to let that happen. I could only hope that he was strong enough to walk for however long it took to clear out his intestines. If he were to roll, there was every possibility that he could roll his intestines clear over, pretty much guaranteeing his death. But if I kept walking him that wouldn't happen. Every corner we took, I could feel Hawke tugging at the leadline, trying to lie down. Soda came up to me.

"Let me walk him for a while." I nodded. I was exhausted. I had been walking him for three hours straight with no noticeable difference other than My feet hurt, I was going to get blisters, and soon, if not already, the orphanage would find out I was missing, as would Soda's. I didn't know what would happen when they did. I was scared to find out. But I knew something. They weren't going to tear me away from Soda and Pony and Darry and the rest of the gang again. I would never let them do it. Not this time.

The walking considered for five more hours. Then four more. Eventually Hawke nor Soda or I could walk him any longer. He laid down, and I laid on his chest, praying, willing that he would not roll over. He did not. And that was how the police found us. My lying on Hawke, and Soda sitting next to me, his arm around my shoulders.

The icy look in the cop's eye softened a little at this scene, but The still tried to drag us away from each other. I held fast to Soda.

"You can't do this to us." I insisted, clutching onto him as tightly as I could. He did the same.

"I'm sorry. But I have my orders." The cop didn't sound very sorry.

"He's my brother. You're breaking up a family into tiny little shards. I hope you know the damage you're doing to us." The cop shrugged.

"He's not your real brother."

"You're right." My voice was icy calm, but I was furious. Soda was damn real enough. "My real brother is a JD hood that was killed by a police officer after pointing an unloaded gun at an officer." Our cop looked appalled. His mouth kept opening and shutting without anything coming out. Soda's arms squeezed around me, comfort seeping through. Neither of us were letting go this time. We couldn't live with being torn apart again.

The officer had had enough.

"Come on." I wouldn't let go of him though. "You two can stay together until I get to her home.

"My home is in Tulsa." I said firmly. The cop just rolled his eyes.

"If you wanted to keep living there you shouldn't have gotten in trouble. I was about to retort, but Soda put his hand on my shoulder warningly. I get tears in my eyes.

"Can I at least finish with the horse?" I asked, almost pleadingly. The cop shook his head.

"We need to go." One of the grooms must have been listening because he came to Hawke.

"I won't let him die." He promised. I looked into his eyes.

"I'll hold you to that." The groom nodded. I gave Hawke one last hug, and then the cop grabbed my wrist and pulled me away. I pulled away from his grasp sharply.

"I can walk on my own." I snapped. I climbed into the backseat of the car and Soda followed behind me. I heard the locks click and I was stuck in there. I buried my head into Soda's chest.

"I can't stand to leave you again." I whispered.

"I know." Was all he said, but I felt a tear drop onto me shirt. Mine rolled down my face. Here we were, two rock hard greasers crying there eyes out. In the presence of a cop. I wondered what Dally would say if he saw us. This actually made me laugh shakily.

"What?" Soda murmured.

"Trying to picture Dally's reaction if he saw the two of us right now." Soda grinned.

"He'd clobber the both of us." I nodded.

"Yep." There was a few minutes of silence. But that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to savor these last few minutes with Soda.

"Are we ever going to get home?" I wondered aloud. Soda shrugged.

"I'm eighteen in a year, but it'll kill me to leave you and Pony by yourselves. Maybe I can adopt the two of you. Darry's trying his hardest to adapt us all again. Maybe it'll pull through soon."

"Maybe. But if you don't Pony and I are stuck there for four more years."

"I know."

"I wish Dally was still here."

"I know." And that was all it took from Soda. He may call himself dumb, but he always knew what I meant. And sometimes that was better than someone actively trying to make me feel better. I just knew that he knew what I meant, and that in of itself helped. That was when he reached the home. The stark grey walls and fences greeted me. I wasn't at all sure I could do this. I wrapped myself around Soda. I wasn't sure when I'd be able to do this again.

"Give Pony my love." He nodded.

"Of course. Love you Rae."

"You too Pepsi." He grinned. "See you." I climbed out of the car and walked with the cop up the big front stairs without looking back.

The headmistress looked thoroughly pissed. I couldn't say that I was surprised.

"I caught the runaway." The cop stated unnecessarily.

"Clearly." The headmistress snapped. I flinched. the cop nodded his head and left. The headmistress turned to me.

"I'm sure you know about our strict runaway policy." She said. I shrugged.

"I guess not."

"Well, you must know that you're going to have to be punished."

"I kinda figured." She pursed her lips and I resolved to try not to be so mouthy. but hey, in case you hadn't noticed I was Dallas Winston's sister.

"I just have to decide on the punishment. You will get lashed." I flinched, wondering what Soda would say if he heard that. Or Darry, or any of the gang. They would all be livid. "And some community service will be necessary."

"Okay." I wasn't going to plead for myself. From now on there was going to be no crying. No more weakness. I would become Dallas's sister again. No more feelings. I had lost everything I held dear twice. I couldn't care anymore. It hurt too much.

I had a bright red mark across my cheek and four more across my shoulders. And tomorrow I was going to a lumber mill where they had offered to take on disobedient orphans for a day to work there. They pretended it was a charity case, but really, it was free slave labor. I had been told more than once that I was going to have to work, and if I didn't work I didn't eat.

I got out of the mini van, along with another girl who had done something wrong. She had tried to strike up a conversation on the way here, but when I failed to answer, we had resorted to each staring out our own separate windows. The noise here was tremendous. And then I saw something that caught me completely off guard. Swinging an axe, trying to chop in half a branch almost as wide as himself was Soda. He swung with fury, seeming to unleash his anger on the tree. It didn't stand a chance. And ten feet down... Pony. I couldn't imagine that innocent Ponyboy could ever do anything bad enough to gain him a trip here. A few tears stung my eyes, but I pushed them down furiously. I wasn't allowed emotion. Not anymore. I promised myself. If I ever went home I'd work on getting it back. I just wasn't strong enough now.

I was given a pair of gloves, an axe, and a spot on the log next to Soda, with a clearly marked line where I was supposed to cut through. I began to hack at the wood. Soda looked up at me, and did I double take when he realized it was me.

"Rae." He said quietly. He touched his face where mine was bruised and cut. "They hurt you because of me." He whispered. I shook my head.

"No. They hurt me because that's what they do. That's who they are." I was a little scared by the bitterness in my voice, but I decided not to care. Pony looked down and saw me. He smiled.

"Rae." He mouthed.

"Hey Pone." He grinned, and kept thwacking that wood. I get started on mine. I didn't say anymore to either of them, but I felt better just knowing that they were there. In not very much time, Soda and I had split through our wood. We were lead to another log. This seemed to carry on forever. Despite the gloves, I got blisters all over my hands. But despite that I kept pace with Soda, though Pony fell behind.

"How long are you here?" Soda asked. I shrugged.

"Until my attitude is repaired. Whatever that means." Soda nodded.

"Same... you know, if Dally saw you right now he'd be proud." I almost lost my cool and cried. Almost.

"Thanks." I didn't feel like talking anymore. I just wasn't up to it. Soda, in true Soda fashion picked up in this. When the sun started sinking, and my hands, back, shoulders, and pretty much everywhere else were killing me, the ending whistle sounded. I dropped the axe and rolled my neck. It hurt. Quite a lot. I saw Soda wincing beside me.

We all came to a big wooden table where plates were being passed down. I sat down, gasping when this movement jarred my back. Soda and Pony sat on either side of me.

"Hey." I grinned in spite of myself.

"Hey guys." When my plate came to my I dug into the pasta. I might have worked for it, but this was much better food than the food at the home. At least it wasn't rubbery or mushy, the two consistencies at the orphanage. Pony looked at my face and paled.

"They... hit you?" He asked quietly. I put a hand to my face.

"I'm fine Pony." I insisted. He didn't contradict out loud, but I could see the contradiction in his eyes.

"It's good to see you." He said softly. I nodded.

"You too." It was true that I wasn't going to be weak anymore, but even Dally had been happy to see the gang, right? I didn't even know anymore. But I had to draw the line somewhere. I couldn't abandon Soda, or especially Pony. I would always be happy to see them. Even though we had been torn apart, I knew that I would never really be apart. Even I would have to stay here for the next four years, I would see them at the end. Though I know things would be different, we'd all be grown up. But maybe, just maybe, we could be together again.

But then something at the end of my "community service" Changed that. Possibly forever.

**Well, there goes chapter 9. I was about to be really sad because I was running out of ideas. I thought maybe Darry could win the court case and adopt them, but I really didn't want to resort to that. And lucky for you guys =) I thought of something else. As always, it would really mean a lot if you'd review. **_**Something **_**to let me know that someone's actually reading this. **


End file.
